Preston did well for a while on anti-depressants, but couldn't afford the cost. We would have helped if we'd known. Just so you know, it costs $1.75 for Pfizer to make 100 tablets of the anti-depressant he was on. They charge consumers $206 for those 100 pills. That's a mark-up of almost 13,000 percent. That's nothing, however, compared to the over 500,000-half a MILLION-percent they mark up some drugs. These costs don't go into research and development as they are fond of telling us, they go into advertising, marketing, and the outrageous salaries and bonuses of their executives. Bottom line: Screw the people-keep the shareholders happy. What has this country become? What have we let happen?
I called Nevada County (CA) Mental Health and was told I couldn't make an appointment for my son-he'd have to call and make it himself. Now, why can I make any other kind of medical appointment for someone else, but not one for someone with a potentially fatal illness? They could intervene only if he hurt himself or someone else. How many Scott Thorpe's-the under-treated man who walked into Mental Health and Lyon's Restaurant, shot and killed three and wounded several more-will it take to get the help these people have to have? Three people would be alive and this man would not be in prison for something he was compelled to do because of his altered thinking...if he'd received the care he tried to get. All the warnings he and his family sent were ignored. In my opinion, his doctor should be doing the time.
I pleaded with the Nevada County court system to mandate care for Preston and was ignored-twice.
Is there anyone to blame? Maybe a society that is totally ignorant about mental disease and places a stigma on those afflicted; that believes it is something they'll "get over" or is faked to get attention. A society whose law enforcement is given an hour or two of training in dealing with mental illness. A few years ago in Grass Valley, CA, there was a man threatening to kill himself in a car downtown. One of the officers present told him he was "too chicken to do it." Well, he wasn't and he did. Even those in the clergy, psychologists, and medical fields are lacking in knowledge of how to help people with suicidal thoughts. One counselor convinced a suicidal mother that her children couldn't do without her, so she killed them before killing herself.
Estimates run as high as one in four will experience depression to some degree in their life. Everyone has days when they are feeling blue, but this doesn't come close to the misery and pain of deep depression. We have all been unhappy. Depression is sadness gone too far. Over 90 percent of suicides have a brain disease, the majority of these have depression. In addition to the 30,000 completed suicides each year, there are 500,000 emergency room visits for attempted suicide. Aren't these numbers high enough to make people sit up and take notice-that they themselves could become a completed suicide or a suicide's survivor? That depression is not something to take lightly-that it can be, with or without treatment, fatal? I can't tell you how many times I heard, "He'll get over it." I will live with the guilt of being lulled into thinking that maybe he would overcome it-I just didn't know or understand the seriousness of brain disorders-how bleak and hopeless he truly felt his life was. He felt we'd be better off without the 'worthless burden' he thought he was. All the reassurances of how much we loved him couldn't penetrate the "thick, dark fog" described above that was his reality. His sick brain was relentlessly telling him he was no good. When the pain of living overcomes your capacity to deal with it, death happens. It is NOT an act of cowardice. It is NOT a choice. It is NOT a sin-it is the only way out of a desperate situation. It is constant mental abuse on one's self.
There are many causes of brain disease: neurotransmitters (chemicals like serotonin) go awry; organic causes such as thyroid problems, allergies (mold and mildew are being looked into); stressful life situations such as bereavement or divorce; genetics; nutritional deficiencies (Omega oils, B vitamins, etc.); sensitivity to the poisons in our air, food, and water. Personally, I would look into nutritional deficiencies first and explore all types of natural healing for depression. Studies in Germany show St. John's Wort as effective as Prozac without the side effects, for example. There is so much to learn on the Internet-research depression in alternative medicine. If you don't have a computer, go to the library and use their's or have a friend help you.
There are so many suicides where no one had any idea the person was thinking of killing him/herself or that they were even depressed. Be alert to any of the signs of depression and always be available to anyone as a friend who will listen. Have compassion for suicide survivors. Many people will avoid us because they don't know what to say. It's so simple. Just say, "I'm so sorry" or "I'm here for you." That's all. Don't try to rationalize why it happened or offer unsolicited opinions and advice. We don't know the exact why's and others certainly don't. We've suffered a double-whammy and to know we've got support when we need it makes all the difference in the world. Don't be afraid to see our tears. If we cry-so what? A hug is all you need to say. We have to cry to get through the terrible grief. Most of all, don't avoid talking about the person who's gone. We need to know they won't be left by the wayside and forgotten. Share any stories you have of him/her. It helps so much to know they are still alive in your memory.
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