PLAN DU JOUR – THE IN YOUR FACE PROTEST COST: $2,500
Includes: up to thirty protesters w/fifteen carrying signs with customer’s verbiage and pictures clearly spelled out AND three other protesters carrying bullhorns. Will expend up to four miles of marching, two miles to and two miles back, for a total time of no more than four hours. Speeches up to thirty minutes can be planned anytime inside those three hours, AND regular applauding is included. Any type of mosh pit style protesting will carry a 10% additional cost plus purchaser is responsible for all medical expenses.
PLAN DELUXE – THE REVOLUTION IS NOW PROTEST COST: $5,000
Includes: up to fifty protesters w/twenty carrying signs with customer’s verbiage and pictures clearly spelled out AND five other protesters carrying bullhorns and packing .44 caliber magnum pistols with hollow-point depleted Uranium bullets. Will expend up to six miles of marching, three miles to and three miles back; for a total time of no more than four hours. Speeches up to thirty minutes can be planned anytime inside those four hours, AND standing ovations are included. Mosh pit style protesting during the speeches will be included provided that the purchaser has a waiver from their insurance company written on White House letterhead.
PLAN KILLER – THE ARMAGEDDON IS HERE PROTEST COST: $25,000
Includes: up to 100 protesters w/thirty carrying signs with customer’s verbiage and pictures clearly spelled out. Chicken blood will be liberally added to up to five different signs. Six protesters will show fresh wounds and gashes as needed, but being run over by a Mack truck and tasting one’s own blood is extra. Five other protesters will carry bullhorns and pack uzi submachine guns with hollow-point depleted Uranium cluster bombs. Will expend up to ten miles of marching in any random direction as required by the purchaser. Total time of no more than five hours except on night’s of a Full Moon due to a certain skin condition on several of our marchers which cause their hair and other pointed parts of their body to grow rapidly. Speeches up to one hour can be planned anytime inside those five hours, AND standing ovations are included throughout the oration. Protesters joining in the Mosh pit activities during the speeches will be allowed to carry certain types of weapons including, but not limited to, billy clubs, night sticks, rubber mallets, miniature hatchets, stiletto knives, butterfly knives, chain saws, nunchucks, light duty bazookas, grenades, and other small military issue armament, but Bradley tanks will not be tolerated.
At FILL-IN-THE-BLANK PROTESTING SERVICE, Our customer complete satisfaction is our number one priority. Find out why so many people are choosing FILL-IN-THE-BLANK PROTESTING SERVICE. You won’t regret it.
Our trained customer service representatives are ready right now to take your order and take care of all the details so you can get back to what you love most, screaming.
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