-A man late for his flight opts to take all of his clothes off and go through security nude to hopefully ensure that he won't be subject to a gratuitous search that will lead him to miss his flight or be stalled by a Nigerian or Muslim in line in front of him
-And, a California airport experiences a scare as five Gatorade bottles carrying honey are discovered and the bag the contents are being carried in test positive for TNT and two TSA agents open one of the bottles and become nauseated from the fumes and are both treated and released from a local hospital
Joan Rivers was put on a terror watch list (perhaps, because the NSA wiretapped a prankster claiming future attacks from al Qaeda will be carried out by individuals wearing latex Joan Rivers masks).
A man was detained for spending too much time in the bathroom (apparently, al Qaeda has made it so that man no longer has the right to relieve his self of chronic diarrhea and read Uncle John's Bathroom Reader during the time he spends relieving himself as he is flying on the airplane).
A German family's vacation was canceled when the father joked about having explosives in his underwear. (Had he been alone he might have looked the security agent in the eye and said, "Is that a PETN explosive in my pants or am I just happy to see you?")
A Newark airport was shut down after a man wandered through a checkpoint the wrong way. (If you see Uncle Al, please leave me a message. He has a really bad case of dementia and probably didn't know how to react to all the security. We miss him and hope we are reunited with him soon.)
And a Californian airport in Bakersfield did experience a scare as TSA agents mobilized to investigate a man, Francisco Ramirez, a Milwaukee gardener, who was returning home with honey in five Gatorade bottles that were carried in a bag that tested positive for TNT. Two TSA agents did become nauseated from the "fumes" coming from the honey and go to the hospital (so it's a good thing Winnie al-Pooh won't be hijacking a plane anytime soon).
A sheriff involved actually had the nerve to say, "Why in this day and age would someone take a chance carrying honey in Gatorade bottles? ... That itself is an alarm. It's hard to understand."
Sir, what's hard to understand is why you can't let a hard-working man just take his damn honey back home with him without having his balls busted over some bitter-smelling but probably delicious honey. What's hard to understand is why in the name of fighting terror he would have to leave his honey in Bakersfield and give up the opportunity to make a good batch of honey biscuits when he got back to Milwaukee.
Who needs MTV entertainment shows like Jackass or Punk'd or VH1 reality shows like Kim and the Kardashians when you can pull up a chair and watch the freak show unfold without cable television?
Help! I'm an American, Get Me Out of Here!
Unfortunately, such an assessment that compares what is occurring to a show on MTV, VH1, or some other network dismisses the fact that this hysteria has been deceptively whipped up again in the same way that hysteria was whipped up deceptively to support the ignition of a war in Iraq, in the same way that hysteria was whipped up deceptively to support the looting of America's treasury by bailouts to American banksters, and in the same way that hysteria was whipped up deceptively to support the passage of a health care containing an individual mandate poison pill that will make consumers slaves to private insurance companies.
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