Others in line had rubbed shoulders with Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Luke Bryan, LeAnn Rimes, Carrie Underwood, Ashton Kutcher, Jermaine Jackson and Gwen Stefani. All loved being seat fillers and didn't mind the lack of pay, although they admitted it was really uncompensated extra work.
The seat filling company has no shortage of volunteers. The owner maintains a database of 33,000 applicants, and some folks travel from Belgium, South Africa and New Zealand just to taste the lifestyle of the rich and famous.
It was almost show time. The postmoderns and I were led into the auditorium and told to fill empty seats. Unlike the Grammy's or Oscar's, the "Teachers Rock" event was low profile. I figured it wouldn't lead to celebrity encounters, free flowing champagne or anything unusual.
So, you can imagine my surprise when I met a space alien. "I'm a retired private investigator," a senior citizen next to me said. "And this is my wife. She's a Grobanite."
I'd never heard of the planet, Groban. In fact, I'd never seen a spaceship or been abducted from a field in Nebraska. I tentatively shook the woman's hand, hoping she would not examine my reproductive organs.
"What galaxy is that in?" I asked. She laughed and explained that she was a fan of the entertainer Josh Groban, who would be performing that night. I was relieved because frankly I wasn't in the mood to leave Earth, especially in my woolly mammoth pantsuit.
The show ended after live performances from Groban, Garth Brooks, Dierks Bentley and the group, "fun." I moved out of my row with other seat fillers, when a supervisor said, "Don't even try to go backstage." With that, I donned my own postmodern lens and went backstage, where I schmoozed with Chef Curtis Stone and the king of his own planet, Mr. Josh. In my defense, I didn't try to do anything. It just happened.
_____
Charlotte Laws, Ph.D. is an author, weekly commentator on NBC and Greater Valley Glen Council member. Follow her at Twitter.com/CharlotteLaws
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).