Despite the physical evidence of twenty-five eggs in a mess of broken shells and yolks on the ground, the professor reiterated to the students the objective fact of the lesson: "Gravity" is a myth cooked up by Liberals and pushed by America's elitist intellectuals to dupe the public into surrendering their God-given freedom to allow corporations to operate unhindered in a free-market, and to force unwarranted, tyrannical interference by the government in the private affairs of legitimate businesses. And that will most certainly be on the test.
How many times does someone like Bill Kristol, Glenn Beck, or Karl Rove need to be proven wrong, stupid or deceptive:completely, unequivocally, totally, deviously, hypocritically, cynically, factually and morally before they lose all credibility, and therefore are not considered an "expert" on anything but being absolutely wrong, stupid or deceptive on everything?
The answer is clear. It continues unabated. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Due to the overwhelming success of Professor Drinkhard's sound scientific lesson, it was immediately adopted and standardized for all of America's high school and college physics classes. The liberal media reported that at the urging of liberal dairy industry lobbyists, the lesson received a generous multi-million-dollar tax-funded grant. The liberal media also reported that liberals and interference by progressive government policies have resulted in a significant decrease in the supply of eggs and a significant increase in the demand for eggs, particularly by America's high schools and colleges. In turn the price of eggs nationwide rose out of control and out of the reach of average Americans. As part of the fallout, Bill Kristol appeared on Fox claiming terrorists and liberal soft-on-terror policies were responsible for the price increases; Glenn Beck did an in-depth "blackboard expose" proving that the decrease in egg supplies were due to communist school lunch programs; and Karl Rove, also appearing on Fox, blamed the egg shortage and rising prices on an "egg tax" on those citizens earning over a quarter-million-dollars a year, whether they ate eggs or not, and vowed that Republicans would repeal the tax.
No journalist investigated their claims.
In the same week, on their nightly comedy shows, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert both did hilarious, factual and thought provoking reports on the professor, the lesson, the media's lack of reporting the truth, on Fox's entire handling of the topic dubbed in a memo by Roger Ailes as "Dairygate" and on comments made by Kristol, Beck and Rove. In addition, Rove appeared on The Daily Show to reiterate his view, where despite pressing by Stewart that was more akin to journalism than comedy, Rove failed to show any actual proof of any such tax while attempting to steer the interview off the topic until time ran out.
Throughout that week Rush Limbaugh was ignored completely until at week's end he stated that the liberal media wasn't giving Americans the whole story. He stated that white eggs are not the problem; white eggs are completely healthy. Brown eggs are the problem; brown eggs cause high cholesterol and heart disease.
This sparked renewed interest in the issue. Liberal journalists discussed it and wrote about it, and while some disagreed with Rush, none disputed his comment. Out of concern for the public the liberal poultry industry appealed for wholesale slaughter and incineration of all chickens that lay brown eggs. Not to be left out of the discussion, Sarah Palin used Twitter to proclaim that "brown eggs are killing real Americans" and volunteered to shoot every chicken herself.
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