I was thinking there must have been some sort of disagreement between myself and one of the students, or some disruption – something that would occur on occasion.
“It was the last time Damarien was in this class.”
Her voice was calm and conversational and she never looked up from or stopped working on the puzzle in front of her. That was the only mention she made of it.
There was really nothing for me to say. I muttered something about “I miss him too,” and fell into the voiceless thought that accompanies such moments.
Later that day, as I was preparing to go home, I wondered what sort of Thanksgiving Damarien’s family and friends would have without him. I could picture any gathering with him there. It would be anything but boring! I was sure that, now, there would be a very bright and wonderful light missing for all holidays, as it was missing from the school.
My thoughts then turned to my own holiday. How would I react to this reminder? How should I react? I had known Damarien for only a shot time compared to his family and friends, and yet, he had an effect on me. Would I – should I – pause for a moment at dinner to thin of him? Should I make some statement to my family about it? How best could I honor and respect the person I had known and his memory at a time when we were supposed to give thanks for the blessings we have?
It wasn’t an easy set of variables to work through. There is a need to move on and to get beyond tragedy of whatever kind. But there is also a need to keep with us a personality that is special and from whom we have learned as well as taught. There is the need to celebrate that which we have, and yet, pay homage to that which we have lost.
I considered setting a place at the table in my heart where Damarien cold sit with me and give me the specialness of his company during my Thanksgiving. I thought about advising my students to do the same.
But that place would still be empty, in real life, and would be a reminder that, for all the rest of the days, there would be no Damarien there.
And, though it is a cliché, I know that Damarien would not be comfortable being promoted to the status of some mythological hero or demigod. He was a young man who had a troubled life and who was trying his best to create a new path to follow, and for that, he should be called a hero. But he would feel very self-conscious about being put on a pedestal, I think. And, besides, there is also the need to let his spirit rest now.
Finally, without really concentrating any effort on the matter, the decision came to me and I determined that, as I listed, privately and silently, my blessings, Damarien would be there, and there every year from now on.
Today is Thanksgiving Day and Damarien is not here.
But rather than grieve that you are gone, I am very thankful that I had the blessing of having you in my life.(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
