Particularly autistic children. The most astounding series of miracles at the ranch. Children 10 and 12 years old who have never uttered a single word in their lives walk up to Eeyore and tell him hello.
Special week-long retreats are provided for autistic children. The results are truly miraculous. In all, 5,800 special needs children visited the ranch last year. The results are far more miraculous than bullets guided by angels.
The ranch has no antelope but is home to four previously rescued or disabled deer. According to recent reports from sources normally deemed reliable but who must remain anonymous because they aren't authorized to speak, the sane and loving angels in residence at Whispering Hope have not scheduled the cold-blooded massacre of Comet, Cupid, Prancer or Dancer. None are scheduled to be converted into tasty venison, by divine intervention or otherwise, in furtherance of the righteous plans of Huckabee's deranged, bloodthirsty angels who have answered the alarm clock and are taking back America for Christ.
In perfectly normal, acceptable and ethical manner, at least per Arkansas' unique "ethics" rules. As a staffer explained:
"It was because of his background as a preacher... They typically get gifts."
"In his own mind he was righteous, so the appearance didn't matter."
As governor, Huckabee accepted many thousands of dollars worth of "gifts", like a $1,000 pair of cuff links, a pair of $3,695 cowboy boots and a $500 belt.
In stark contrast, Whispering Hope Ranch is supported entirely by donations from private sources. No government funding is requested or accepted.
All sane patriotic Americans who understand the true meaning of the word morality and the profound differences between right and wrong and between good and evil should pray to their respective Gods that Huckabee's beliefs will be resoundingly rejected and that he will be overwhelmingly defeated. Those Americans should also solicit the help of loving and wise angels in working in any and every way possible to assure that, if Huckabee does somehow attain the presidency, his "special angels" will reject his request for them to "divinely intervene". Including intervention by guiding thousands of bombs and missiles down upon the heads of millions of innocent, defenseless, unsuspecting women and children who are harming or threatening no one while peacefully living in their native habitat.
Senseless violence supported by deranged angels Huckabee may well feel necessary in order to righteously take America back for Huckabee's bloodthirsty, mean-spirited, hateful Christ.
Chuck Simpson
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