To provide for the punishment of counterfeiting the securities and current coin of the United States, except as the Unitary Executive may disapprove;
To establish post offices and post roads, except as the Unitary Executive may disapprove;
To promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries, except as the Unitary Executive may disapprove;
To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on the high seas, and offenses against the law of nations, except as the Unitary Executive may disapprove or may be guilty of said piracies and felonies;
To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water, but only as an entertaining fiction for the amusement of the inhabitants of Capitol Hill, said powers in reality belonging exclusively to the Unitary Executive;
To raise and support armies, but only as an entertaining fiction for the amusement of the inhabitants of Capitol Hill, said power in reality belonging exclusively to the Unitary Executive, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years, unless the Unitary Executive should determine that enduring occupations are in the national-corporate interest;
To provide and maintain a navy, but only in the Congressional Office Building bathtubs;
To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces, but only in the Congressional Office Building bathtubs and recreation rooms;
To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions, but only in their imaginations;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the militia, and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the United States, reserving to the states respectively, the appointment of the officers, and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress, all just for pretend;
To exercise exclusive legislation in all cases whatsoever, over Washington, D.C., and its colonized people; And
To make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the government of the United States, or in any department or officer thereof, said laws being none whatsoever, the sole power to determine acceptable governmental action resting in the fist of the Unitary Executive.
Section 9. The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be honored.
Bills of attainder and ex post facto Laws shall be passed.
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