Microsoft's Analytical Vacuum Cleaner - "It not only sucks it up but it susses it out" - scans and documents everything in those clumps of dust balls.
"There is an eighty percent probability we just inhaled a marijuana seed. Time to talk to the kids and go through their drawers."
The professional model (at three times the price) sports a USB port and includes sophisticated software enabling the contents to be further analyzed on a PC and is expected to be a hit with small law enforcement departments who lack immediate access to forensic facilities.
The Pinsley Programmable Doorbell will offer celebrity vocals for playback. For instance, a greeting using the voice of Peter Faulk, the cross eyed detective from the 1970s TV series Colombo, can be scripted to say:
"If this is Louie, Estelle's not home, so beat it."
"If this is Larry, watch out for Louie. He might be hiding in the bushes."
Several product lines will offer varying accents in English. For instance, Nokia's Personal Lifestyle Scheduler - what used to be an alarm clock - can be set to get the kids moving so you don't have to. A clipped German/English accent orders:
"Achtung! You vill get out of bed NOW and get yourzelf dressed for school. Schnell!"
And the perfect gift for that perennial bachelor just might be a microwave with a seductive French accented female voice that breathily informs him:
"Ooh, mon cherie, your dinner is hot and so am I."
From startup company Nirvana, a vibrator marketed for women as My Secret Friend will whisper little nothings in any of a dozen celebrity voices from either gender in a user programmable playback sequence. Software and extra ram chips can be ordered for recording voices and composing your own scripts on a home computer. The standard unit will come with snippets like:
"It's you and me, baby."
"Who needs men?"
"I know what you like."
"You're the best."
Mike the Spike is in the House
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