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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 11/4/14

A Tea Party Hosted by Big Oil

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Jill Jackson
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"I thought you invited us for tea," whined Alice.

"I did," said the Mad Hatter, "I'm serving it inside my new ginormous SUV. Isn't she a beaut?"

"Goodness," the White Rabbit gasped. "I could fit three of my Prius in that thing."

"And, if you can believe it, she gets 20 miles to the gallon!" the Mad Hatter boasted. "You wouldn't believe the crowds at the car dealer buying these babies." The Mad Hatter hopped onto the running board, "I'm King of the Freeway!"

"Yeah, I heard on a podcast that there's really a run on SUVs and trucks now that gas prices are so low," said Alice. "I'd get one if I was old enough to drive."

The White Rabbit frowned. "I don't use that much gas any more now that I have a plug-in. I was even thinking of getting a fully electric car-- He scratched his whiskers. "But, you're right. Gas prices have dropped significantly."

"Hoorah for that," said the Mad Hatter. "Step inside my roomy mobile parlor, my friends."

"Wait," the White Rabbit said, "There's something I don't understand. Yes, gas prices are low now. But, do you really think they're going to stay this low forever, or even for long?"

The Mad Hatter furrowed his brows. "You know, I didn't really think about that."

"Yeah, gas prices are 8 dollars a gallon in Europe," Alice interjected.

The Mad Hatter shook his head. "Nah, it won't happen. Don't be such a downer, Rabbit. We've all been on a gas diet too long. Look at these seats and this spread. I have black tea and green tea. Bet you can't have a tea party in your electric car."

"No, I can't," admitted the White Rabbit. "But I can avoid being beholden to Big Oil. Which you and all the new big vehicle buyers are doing again." He snorted. "I'd started to see lots of folks tired of Big Oil and buying or thinking about buying electric or other alternative fuel cars. And lots more of them on the road. But now, it's back to gas guzzlers, just when electric cars were starting to take off. If I were you, Mad Hatter, I'd think that maybe Big Oil was behind these low prices to get people ensnared into using their dirty, polluting product, and to undermine the alternative fuel wave." The White Rabbit sighed, "But, I'm not you. So let's have some tea in your gas-waster. Green tea for me."

"I don't want tea," whined Alice. "I'm bored. I wish there was a handy subway or train that I could take home instead of having to wait for Rabbit to drive me."

"Don't we all," said both the Rabbit and the Hatter. "Don't we all."

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Jill Jackson is a practitioner of kindness and common sense. Unlike her cat, she prefers to think out of the box.

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