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America: The ADHD Nation And How It Will Survive With A Terminally Short Attention Span

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Michael Weber

As a nation we are so distractible that, it makes a coherent national dialogue nearly impossible. And so it's a major advantage to the Republican Party to change subjects frequently and the more inane the subject the better.

Consider the recent—attempt to change the subject—John Boehner, Mike Pence, Eric Cantor and company called a press conference to announce the NEW and AMAZING "Republican Hail Mary Budget Proposal".

What was this information packed document?

Exactly, 19 pages, including a front and back cover, of complaints that the Democratic Budget wouldn't work, and the Republican were offering an alternative—well sort of an outline of a rough idea, of some core Republican principles, announcing that, a Republican budget was in the works and would be ready on Wednesday, the day that the Democratic budget would come up for a vote, and just in time to say that they were locked out of the budget discussion and the Democrats ignored their Plan.

Are you distracted yet? It gets even better. I actually downloaded "the disloyal oppositions" Budget Alternative and read it. I'll spare you the gory details, because there were none. NADA ZIP, so I'll just give you some of the highlights—which is exactly what they presented. Highlights.

I actually getting dizzy just thinking about this incredibly shallow subterfuge, presented by the current best and brightest leadershit, (that's not a typo) that the Republicans have to offer. It almost makes you long for a return of the Master Machiavellian Mind Melter, dare I say, Karl "the turd-blossom" Rove.

Here is their budget, as I read between their lies—I mean lines.

NOTE: I intentionally left out their bitching about the Democrats budget and concentrated on their IDEAS, which made for a pretty short read.

(My commentary is in parenthesis)

(The Title Page reads)
The Republican Road to Recovery
(from the Republican Road to Disaster!)

(Page 1 begins)
To the American People: Many of our fellow citizens are hurting. (No kidding, and since when did that bother you?) Our economy continues to weather the worst since the 1970s (Take that Jimmy Carter. I notice they didn't refer to Bill Clinton. Oh yea, I forgot that, he left office with a budget surplus and high employment, but, they almost impeach his ass anyway.)

Far too many spend their work days worried that the next phone call will bring an end to a job (which we shipped overseas) only to go home and check the mail for further evidence that years of (Republican fiscal malfeasance, that has reduced your) retirement savings or a children's college savings has dissipated. Such a financial strain threatens to split many families and communities and force even more to postpone the American dream. (Gee I wonder how that happened? Oh yea! Never mind. That happened on our watch. Opps! Sorry! Please just trust us again because this time we have your best interests at heart. No really we're serious.)

The President (the "trash" in the White house) calls for "A New Era of Responsibility" (unlike "Our Era of Total Irresponsibility") a s the
title of his budget states. But a closer look at the Democrat budget reveals something far different
it spends too much, taxes too much, and borrows too much. (emphasis is theirs and repeats their favorite talking point—THEY, THEY, TAX TOO MUCH—THEY, THEY, SPEND TOO MUCH—THEY, THEY, BORROW TOO MUCH—AND FROM CHINA NO LESS—WHICH IS UN-AMERICAN WHICH WE KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT—HOW DO YOU THINK WE FINANCED A THREE TRILLION DOLLAR IRAQ WAR?—AND NOW THOSE THOSE DAMN DEMOCRATS WANT TO—sorry what was I saying?)

(And here are some of their stunning new ideas:)

OUR PROPOSAL

CURBS SPENDING (Republican spending e.g. three trillion off the books for Iraq War GOOD; Democratic spending e.g. educating citizens BAD)
Limits the Federal Budget from growing Faster than Family Budgets
Instead of spending money on wasteful programs under the guise of "stimulus"
(like educating your children for the future, because under our plan they will be flipping hamburgers or doing something useful like shining our shoes) and "investments," (like building bridges that won't fall down and kill you on the on your way to work, because we shipped your job overseas, so you won't need that nasty old bridge anyway, right?) Republicans seek to ensure that the federal budget cannot grow faster (than it did under Bush and) than families' ability to pay the bill. (Familiy abiliity to pay the bill? How about the rich guys aren't they going to chip in just a little?)(By the way, didn't American wages stagnate under you guys for the last eight years? So what growth are you talking about here?)

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I am a child of the WWII era. I have always considered myself a patriot, even when I have passionately disagreed with the policies of the government. My view is that disagreeing with the current caretakers, during any administration, is not only our (more...)
 
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