When Republican scum break the law they merely try to have sex with underage boys and/or girls or solicit sex in public toilets or eat Oxycontin until they go deaf or order young people off to war or lie or cheat or steal. But, home-boy, you ain't seen corruption until it's perpetrated by an Illinois Democrat. Like, oh, say, the current governor, Rod Blagojevich. Jeebus Jumping Kee-rist!!! Is there anything this gangster-looking dude didn't try to pocket? Quick! Check out the governor's official residence! See if the wallpaper's still hanging! Or did he glom that up, too?
According to U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald (yeah, the same guy who got Cheney bag-man Irving Libby but just couldn't seem to close the deal on Libby's capo Karl Rove) "the breadth of corruption laid out in these charges is staggering."
Federal investigators bugged the governor's campaign offices and placed a tap on his home phone and Chicago FBI chief Robert Grant said even seasoned investigators were "stunned" by what they heard on the tapes.
(Bugged his office? Tapped his home phone? What was Rod suspected of, global terrorism?) "Stunned," say the seasoned investigators. Yikes. Say goodbye, Rod. On the tapes you can hear Rod talking about who gets Obama's Senate seat saying sh*t like, "Hey, it's worth a lot of f*cking money! I'm not giving away a Senate seat! Let's get the bids in!" Okay, not exactly that but close enough to win a cigar. Or a trip to the nearest federal pen.
Meanwhile, Rod's mouthpiece Lucio Guerrero said the "allegations do nothing to impact the services, duties or function of the State." Oh. Okay. Well, that's certainly a relief. I still say check to see if the wallpaper's still on the walls.
The AP reports Rod was intercepted on court-authorized wiretaps over the last month conspiring to sell or trade the vacant Senate seat for personal benefits for himself and his wife, Patti. Oh, nooooo . . ! Not Patti, too! If there were no bidders or the jack offered was not high enough ol' Rod considered appointing himself. The affidavit said that as late as Nov. 3, he told his deputy governor that if "they're not going to offer me anything of value I might as well take it." He added, "I'm going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain," Blagojevich allegedly said later that day, according to the affidavit, in a remark punctuated by profanity (apparently Rod really likes the F word) that the seat was "a valuable thing -- you just don't give it away for nothing."
Now, let's see how quickly the drug-addled Rush Limbaugh can absolutely prove to his flat-lined listeners that this entire scheme was put together in a Chicago apartment months ago in a meeting attended by Barack Obama, William Ayers, Rod, six whores, a Columbian drug supplier, Hillary Clinton, a dozen union organizers and Charlie Sheen. Or did he already lay out the entire planning and execution on today's afternoon circle jerk? Oy. You gotta give the obese Limbaugh credit, though. Whenever there's a Democrat caught with his hand in the till or his pecker in his zipper, Rush will be there to direct traffic.
So. Now what. (Yawn . . .)
Dunno. Don't care. But, over the next few days watch the media whores try to connect this Illinois political sh*t-storm to Barack Obama.
Meanwhile, join me tonight for the program. It should be fun.