It's been 168 years since Charles Dickens wrote A
Christmas Carol to illustrate the horrific living conditions of the
English poor and promote the true nature of Christmas. If Dickens were still alive, he'd be compelled
to update his tale.
On Christmas Eve, Bob Cratchit comes home from work and
tells his wife, Emily, he's been laid off, "They're shutting down the tractor
factory and moving it to China." "How
are we going to pay for the Christmas presents?" she asks. "We've already maxed out all our credit
cards." Emily just came off a long shift
at Walmart and she's exhausted. "I don't
know," Bob responds, "but what I'm most worried about are Tiny Tim's medical
bills." Their only son, Tim, is short
for his age and has brittle-bone syndrome.
When Tim was a baby, the Cratchits lived near a chemical plant that
contaminated the groundwater. Rather
than deal with the damage, the chemical corporation declared bankruptcy.
Bob Cratchit goes to the YMCA to work out and encounters Ebenezer
"Eb" Scrooge, who inherited the tractor factory from his father, Jacob. "How's it going, Cratchit? How are your wife and little boy?" Eb says
with false bonhomie. "Not so well," Bob
answers, "because you decided to move the factory, I'm out of a job." "It wasn't personal, it was business," Eb
snaps, "You shouldn't have any problem finding a job, Cratchit. You can build a web site or something."
Eb returns to his mansion and falls sleep. In the middle of the night the gleaming ghost
of his father, Jacob Scrooge, wakes him up.
"So you'd move the factory, would you," Jacob wails. He transports Eb thirty years into the past. Jacob and Eb Scrooge are in the factory
cafeteria at a Christmas Party for the employees and their families. Jacob thanks everyone, "All of you shared in
our accomplishments, so all of you will share in the profits. I'm giving each of you a bonus." As cheers fill the room, Jacob hugs Eb and
says, "This factory is my second home and these employees are members of my
extended family. I trust that you will
always take care of them."
Next, Jacob transports Eb back to the present, to the
Cratchit home. Bob and Emily are hosting
a potluck Christmas dinner with their neighbors. Ten adults share a scrawny chicken and one
bottle of cheap wine. "What are we going
to do?" one man asks, "There's no work in town." "We could try looking in Metropolis," another
says. "There's nothing there unless you
want to work in a McDonalds," Bob observes.
Tiny Tim interrupts the adult conversation, "Momma can I go outside and
play with the others?" Emily forces a
smile and says, "Yes. But be careful,"
and watches Tim hobble out of the room on his crutches. "Closing down the factory is Scrooges'
fault!" one man bellows. Bob Cratchit
sighs. "Eb's not as strong as his
father; he did what his accountants advised." Bob lifts his half-filled glass,
"but we have each other and somehow we will get through this. Merry Christmas!"
Finally, Jacob transports Eb to the future. At the town graveyard, Bob and Emily Cratchit
stare at a small pine coffin. Jacob whispers, "After Bob lost his job, they
couldn't afford the treatments Tim required."
Then Jacob transports Eb to the town square, which is covered with tents
and ringed by heavily--armed police officers.
Jacobs explains, "After Bob and Emily lost their house, they joined the
Occupy Wall Street protest." A police bullhorn blares, "Leave now or you will
be arrested." Bob and Emily face the
police, hold hands with their neighbors, and chant, "We are the 99
percent. We are the 99 percent."
The original A Christmas Carol had a happy
ending. For 2011, here are two possibilities:
Ending 1: Eb Scrooge wakes up on Christmas morning,
remembering the dream of his father and Christmas past, present, and
future. He goes to his liquor cabinet
and pours himself a stiff drink. Well
fortified, he dresses and calls for his limousine. Eb is driven to the Metropolis country club,
where one of his friends is hosting Christmas dinner. After several drinks, the
party is shown a video by Mitt Romney: "Merry Christmas," Mitt says. "With your support, and that of other job
creators, we can save America from-- He pauses and the guests chant,
"Socialism." Mitt continues, "Save
America from those who would replace our merit-based society with an
entitlement society." The host proposes
a toast, "To the 1 percent." Eb and his
friends raise their glasses, "To the 1 percent."
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