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I am a Uki. We Are Not White (satire)

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Message Mark Sashine
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We are not from the UK. We are from Ukraine. Ever heard of it? It is somewhere between Turkey and France. In fact, once there was an idea for it to become a department of France. But.. we are not white. French had enough colored slaves at that time. No luck.

We are mixed. I am a Jew. Jews are not white. There is no ' white' race anyway. We, the Jews, belong to the 'Frontal - Asian' race, together with the Arabs ( OMG!!), Armenians (Ahoy, my Christian brethren) and Carthaginians (Ever heard of them? Romans killed them all). The classification comes from the Soviet anthropologist Alekseev. Someone does not like the Soviets? Sorry you feel that way.

Anyway, we, the Jews are not white. Other folks who lived and live still on that territory ('Ukraine' means ' Outskirts' in Russian) are not white too. The Mongols happened to rule that place for about 300 years. Make your horrible conclusion. Unless all women there had chastity belts, the proud Ukis are closer to Chinese than to French. But yes, Ukrainian women are very beautiful. They are marvelous. One of them, even before the Mongols, was in fact Queen of France, Anne, the Russian. Oops! She was not called Anne, the Uki, but the Russian! That is before the Mongols it was an Ancient Russia. For a while it was ruled by the Vikings, who didn't really care because they were dirty as Hell, sorry. No whiteness here as well. Also, Ukraine was once divided between many nations and they all.. procreated, Turks especially. 'Maidan' is a Turkish word. So is 'Hurrah', BTW. Poles claim to be whities, but 'the dirty Pole' was a rather frequent statement in France and Germany, so Poles should maybe revisit that perception. EU will not help them in that.

Why do I write that? Because whiteness matters. Roosevelt put the Japanese- Americans into camps, not Germans or Italians. No explanation was sought. Japan was bombed by the nuclear device, not the fascist Spain. Go figure. In Y2003 when US attacked Iraq and the UK guys followed, Ukis followed them both. Any sanctions? Any UN speeches by the Iraqi representatives? Any weapons offered to Iraqis? NONE, NADA, NOTHING. Moreover, they still say Saddam was a despot, good we killed him, his 15-years' old grandson and a million non- white Iraqis too. Shithole country. But the Ukis were attacked, and suddenly they are designated as whities and the whole Hell breaks loose.

So I have news for you. I was born there. We are not white. We are stray dogs, multicolored and multi.. everything. We are humans. Just like Iraqis.

Come to think of it, Boris Johnson looks like a stray dog and behaves like one. And Biden is a Dupont man. Duponts are French. Germans called them 'the decaying brood of Africans and Gauls'. Tough luck for Biden. It all matters. Until sh*t hits the fan. And then - it doesn't matter anymore .

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The writer is 67 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.

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