National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (N.A.M.I.) is a support group for parents &/or siblings of the mentally ill. I would like to see a support group started for children &/or adults who were or are being raised by a mentally ill parent as I was.
In 1997 or '98 I went to what was called a LUPUS reform meeting. It was the only one that I have heard of. As I understand the reform it would make it easier for a friend &/or family member to have someone placed on a 72 hour hold for evaluation. (To make sure that they are able to care for themselves &/or their children). Before they become a danger to themselves &/or others, as the law now requires.
I wrote a short summary of my experiences from being raised by a mentally ill parent to read at that meeting but wasn't given that opportunity. I no longer have that letter but it went something like this:
My name is Brenda, my mother became noticably ill when I was 9 years old. She was a single parent, my dad is a retired top official of the U.S. Navy. He never mailed me a card, present or even phoned me. I did not meet him until my mothers death, when I was 30 years old. By age 11 my grandmother took me & my mom into her home because my mom had become too psychotic to maintain a job or a residence on her own anymore. . My grandmother told me to stay in our room where my mother would smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day & yell at the voices she heard in her head all hours of the day & night. And then she put Boric Acid on her face before my grandmother finally called the police for help. But the police said there was nothing that they could do because she wasn't being a danger to anyone. But she was. She was a danger to me. To get away from the insanity I ran the streets. School was just a place to be baby-sat. I was raped & molested by 26 different adults by age 15 some repeatedly. I also had sex with boys my own age. I did drugs to laugh about it, I even attempted suicide repeatedly.
I now have a mental problem myself, so if you don't see me going to my doctors or taking my meds then please take me to a doctor, lock me up. But please do something.
I now wonder had I been able to read that letter would our Heavenly Father have needed to save me from myself so many times? I feel that God is reaching through me to save others.
Since then I have shot bathroom cleaner in my veins, cut my wrist again & even set myself on fire. Then I had a severe brain stem stroke at age 35 & could not move at all. I could not talk, chew, swallow or even breath on my own. I could have died 11 times. I know what it is like to be abandoned, neglected, abused, raped, molested, drugged, verbally, physically & emotionally abused by myself & by others. I have alot of self-inflicted scars. And scars from hospitals & other events that should never happen to anyone.
My mother died in 1999 in my arms. I know what it is like to have died. And I know what it is like to have everything taken away from you & have nothing. And start all over again on every level: potty training, talking, eating, reading, writing. I know what it is like to be bedridden. I know what it is like to be in a wheelchair & not be able to fit through a bathroom door & pee all over myself & then not be able to reach far enough back to wipe my own butt, due to the paralysis from the stroke. I know what it is like to be alone...alot. . . . I know what it is like to be alone...a lot. I also learned what it is like to be a foreigner in my own country. Most of our doctors, nurses & even CNAs are imported from other countries.They can talk english, read english (already formed words) but they could not spell english. Leaving me with no way to communicate with those who were suppose to care for me, because of my stroke. I was given what is called a spelling board which is basically a piece of paper with the alphabet on it but it did me no good, because anyone caring for me could not spell english! It should be against the law to hire people who can't write, read & spell english, especially in a hospital! And because they always spoke to each other in their native tongues I had to lay there & wonder if I was still even in America.
I still want to see the LUPUS reform become law, because there are still plenty of children out there being raised by a mentally ill parent that are not seeing doctors, dentist or getting proper nutrition, decent clothes, shoes or a proper education. Let alone the parent who is ill & can not do these things for themselves.
I am learning to forgive myself as well as others. I am going to my doctors, taking my meds, I eat right & drink lots of water. But if you don't see me doing these things please take me to a doctor, lock me up, but do something.
My goal is to stop this from happening to more & more children. To help other victims find resources, info., and links I helped create VoteStrike.com We have begun promoting a General Strike for September 11th through the 15th so that average citizens can reclaim the power that has been stolen by corporate financing of our government.
N.A.M.I. is not affiliated with this website.
E-mail Brenda at: realchange@votestrike.com
