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Sarah Palin: "I'll Plow Through [God's] Door" Prematurely

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In an interview with Fox News's Gretta van Susteren, Gov. Sarah Palin said she prayed God would open a door for her to the White House, but if God only showed her a closed door she would "plow through that door" anyway.

"Even if it's cracked up a little bit," Palin said, "maybe I'll plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don't let me miss an open door. And if there is an open door in (20)12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I'll plow through that door."

Reckless woman! Careless wrecking ball! Has she any respect for the Evangelical tenet that God's Will must come before self-will? 

My name is Pastor Bob, I just made that up--like Sarah Palin and her phony invocation of God. Join me as I take a walk with Jesus and point out the ridiculous hypocrisy that is the life of Sarah Palin. Together, we'll discover a higher purpose, a greater calling and a deeper knowledge of the human soul. 

Friends, the lesson today is: don't vandalize God's property. I know, it's not one of the Ten Commandments, but it's important. Please turn to Romans 12:1-2.

Plowing through God's doors is technically vandalism. Moreover, it's not the neighborly Christian way. God has a lot of priorities: supervising 6 billion souls is time-consuming. The last thing He wants to do at the end of the day is mend a busted up door.

Imagine the frustration. It puts me in mind of dear old Aunt Polly, reluctant guardian to Tom Sawyer... (only Tom Sawyer was a child and Gov. Palin is a Governor and soon will be a grandma).

What's next? Is Gov. Palin going to spike God's coffee? Feed God's cat cough syrup? She's prayin', but gosh-darnit, if God doesn't come through, He might just sit down on a thumb tack one of these days. 

Now the Bible says, 

"Therefore, brother, by the mercies of God present yourselves a living sacrifice to God, holy and acceptable, which is your spiritual act of worship. And do not be conformed any longer to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:1-2)

If God closes the door to the presidency of the United States, but you just "plow right on through," you are not practicing the "good and acceptable and perfect will of God," are you? You are practicing the will of Bob Vila, and God has a special place for those who bust up His doors. Ever heard of the "make My day" law? There's no wiggle room for a plea agreement.

So, friends, today's lesson reminds us to be wary of Sarah Troopergate Palin (Stalin for short). Be wary of a woman who is committed to following God's Will until it fails to meet her expectations. God neither deserves the credit nor the blame if you elect her president, ever. 

 

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Dean Powers lives in Castleton, VT. He has apprenticed at several newspapers including The Nation. He currently writes for OpEdNews. He can be found at facebook.com/deanppowers.

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