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Swing State Pickup Lines

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Hi. You're beautiful. And I don't give a damn who you're voting for.


Which part?

You don't give a damn who I'm voting for?

I swear on the Fourth Amendment.

We don't have that amendment anymore.

You know that?

Yes.  What's the catch?  Which hack are you hocking?
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None of them.  I'm serious.

For real?  What planet are you from? Scratch that. Will you marry me and what planet are you from?

I'm not entirely sure.

Which part?

I'm not sure what planet I'm from, and of course I'll marry you.  Now I do want to ask you one thing.
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I knew it!  I want a prenuptial agreement.

No. I want to tell you something about me and ask you if you can
understand it.  I want to know if you can understand why I'm not voting
for Obama.

But I don't care why.  

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David Swanson is the author of "When the World Outlawed War," "War Is A Lie" and "Daybreak: Undoing the Imperial Presidency and Forming a More Perfect Union." He blogs at and and works for the online (more...)

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