Today, hours after conservative America's crushing defeat, I have cruised tweets, wingnut websites and Fox election night coverage, so that you don't have to. Still, you might enjoy doing so. Here's a guide.
In the middle of election returns, when Obama led in electoral votes, Romney in the popular vote, Donald Trump tweeted a complaint about the electoral-college system and about democracy running amok, and then sank into fooldom by calling the election a sham and a travesty and calling for a march on Washington.
For the Donald's information, Obama ended up with a popular majority.
According to some devout conservatives, America failed spiritually. Jerome Corsi, of swiftboating fame, called the results "God's Judgment on America." Victoria Jackson tweeted that Christians didn't show up. Joseph Farah blamed America for turning away from God and urged patriots to fight anew for "truth, justice and the American way." Look for Superman, folks.
Two observers offered procedural solutions. Tom Tancredo called for impeaching Obama. Christopher Monckton, a Brit best known as a climate denialist, counseled America not to worry, since the Kenya-born Obama isn't a real president.
Ted Nugent blamed "pimps, whores and welfare cheats."
Pamela Geller, who runs the Atlasshrugs website, blamed the maintream media. We'll hear that one a lot in the coming months.
So far there have been few claims that fraud swayed the results, though radio shockjock Barry Farber blamed voter drives that carried "morons" and "zombies" to the polls.
Count on Rush Limbaugh to come out shooting in all directions. He says millions of voters swung left when Chris Christie hugged Obama. Further, America is a "nation of children," and Obama is Santa Claus.
Predictably, Sarah Palin showed no signs of intelligent thought, but repeated GOP campaign talking points about Benghazi and oil imports and added a bizarre claim that Obama has no budget.
So far most postmortems that Romney was not conservative enough have come from the teabaggers. For example, Tea Party Patriots national coordinator Jenny Beth Martin blamed the defeat on Beltway elites and their forcing a moderate on the GOP. She added a warning not to repeat. My fearless forecast is that the tea party will double down.
They miss the gist of the election results. They celebrate Ted Cruz winning, but overlook that Aiken, Mourdock and Allen went down to defeat, that Michelle Bachmann squeaked by in a GOP stronghold district, that gay marriage won victories, that the red state of Montana voted to restrict corporate campaign contributions, that Florida voters rejected state funding of churches and seven other constitutional amendments passed by a tea-party dominated legislature. Here's the message: America is tired of teabaggers.
I've been citing the Right's lunatic fringe. On the whole, most conservative commentators expressed more gloom than anger. Many read demographic trends and mourned the passing of an electorate dominated by White voters. Many followed the 47 percent theme, predicting future domination of the polls by voters dependent on government handouts.