Views of a Porn Star

How often do you talk with a porn-star? Until we experience something first hand, we easily form preconceived ideas about it. Fantasy can jumble up reality. I interviewed Belladonna and learned.

What benefit do you provide society?

I show people how to enjoy their sexuality, Belladonna responded without pause. I'm an educator. I teach people how to loosen up and live a little, how to feel good about sex. That's especially important for women. We're often taught to hold back and suppress our pleasures. That's not so healthy.

Before talking with Belladonna, I wasn't sure what to expect. I had many questions and maybe more prejudices. A prima donna? A wild, imbalanced, nutcase? An immoral degenerate?

We entered into a conversation that was supposed to last maybe 20 minutes. So engaging was our chat, we went on for over an hour. We covered many a philosophical and theological nuance and concluded by solving the world's problems.

Belladonna is a porn-star for whatever image that may conjure up in your head. Articulate, she spoke with confidence and clarity of mind. I had read her biography on her website before the interview. Then I asked her questions that stepped me through her life story. Her father was an Air force Captain. She grew up in a large family of seven kids.

My father ignored us. He wasn't into parenting. Maybe that's why I crave attention. In this business, I've learned a lot about myself. I'm an exhibitionist. It just so happens that people like that trait of my personality. They're willing to pay money for it. So, it works out well. I get to do what comes natural for me.

She's a woman who understands free-market enterprise as well as any fat cat CEO. And, just like the free-wheeling, to-hell-with-old-time-religion-morality high rollers like Donald Trump, she's family oriented.

My experiences have made me a strong woman. She asserts. I'm blessed with a very supportive husband and a four year old daughter. From about the age of eighteen until about twenty-three, I went through negative, dysfunctional relationships. That taught me more about what I want and what a functional relationship is. My husband and I help each other like true friends in learning how to be better people, better parents, and to improve in all areas.

Belladonna told me about how her father became so enthralled in the Mormon Church, helping other families that he neglected is own. "Life is stocked full of ironies," she explained. "The Mormon Church and others, like that right-wing Hagee, talk on and on about the so-called family values. But it was mainly a Church organization that broke up my parents. They divorced when I was fourteen."

She takes the bumps and bruises of life in stride though. I didn't hear a breath of resentment or regret in her voice.

I don't know if anyone really has a smooth life, she explained. I believe that the rough times I've seen only made me stronger and more appreciative of the good life I now relish.

She and her husband have built a viable business.

He handles the technical and a lot of the business stuff, she explained. I'm more creative. I'm good at performing in front of the camera and I've a sharp eye for staging scenes. Together we make a great team.

Her biography details her favorite food and music, but I wondered if she reads books.

I've always got a book going, she said and called to her husband for the exact title of the book she had just started. It's the Course in Freedom by Lawrence Lanoff. It's a great book about overcoming your fears in order to free your mind. One of my favorite books is You Can Heal Your Life by Luise Hay. I love to read. I also read about how to improve relationships. Sometimes I butt heads with my husband because we work together every day. I have to learn to be smooth.

When I asked about being married while not maintaining sexual fidelity, Belladonna pointed out that sex is not necessarily love or friendship.

It's a pleasure. If your relationship is truly based on love and friendship, you can see beyond the physical sex.

The irony of her explanation made sense to me. Though, it seems to demand a level of understanding that might be lost on many, and even on those who claim spiritual enlightenment.

Los Angeles is a paradise for me, she said when asked what she thought of the city. Everything is right here at my fingertips. But I also love to travel. Los Angeles is my home. It's where I formed my new me. This city of angels carries spirituality about it despite its tanned and buffed skin.

Where else can people come to learn about sex?" She said when asked about the Erotica LA Convention that opened last Friday at the convention center in downtown LA. "It's one of the rare places where all kinds of people can come and explore the sexual aspect of their life and without any shame. This whole environment is empowering for me and liberating.