What follows is another one of my satirical exercises in "I wonder.
Sometimes it is important to revisit history, that has without any question changed our way of life. President Abraham Lincoln s decision to stop the southern states from seceding from the Union may have been a mistake. Think of all the good things that we would be experiencing today if Lincoln just said OK---you rebels can go, we will not return fire at Fort Sumter because you are not worth fighting for and always have been a pain in the ass. I know---I know, you are now thinking, what the hell are you talking about, the freedom of the slaves was based on the Emancipation Proclamation of 1862/63; wrong!
The Emancipation Proclamation was actually two Executive Orders that only freed the slaves in the rebellious states as punishment for leaving the family; kind of like Dad getting pissed when his son will not take up the family business. The results of these "Presidential Orders did act as the foundation for the 13th Amendment, which actually did free all the slaves in the United States of America in 1865, with a vote of 119-56. Suppose none of this happened, what would the US look like today?
We would not have 30-40% of our electorate being ignorant, non-caring racists like Patty Buchanan, and the "Rushman.  O Billy would have no audience; or a much smaller one. It would be good! There would be no slavery. Canada did not need a civil war to get rid of the crime against humanity, just reasonable and just people. Canada has done much better than we have when it comes to dealing with minorities. Isn t that curious? Look at the states that said, "We want to be racist sons of bitches, let us go.
The Confederate States of America was formed by seven states, and after a time four more states joined the rebels and left, we should have held a big going away party for these losers; bye, bye and don t let the flag hit you in the ass on the way out of our border. Lincoln would never have been assassinated and Johnson would never have been President. The Vietnam war would have never happened. The Wars, (slaughter) in Iraq would have been carried out by a stupid President of another country. This is good stuff. Lincoln might have screwed things up by forcing these lunatics back into the Union.Â
Lincoln could have said bye Alabama, we will not have to put up with your lynching, segregation, Jim Crow, KKK, white-only counters and a long line of a**holes continuing to this day with your two current Senator a**holes, Sessions and Shelby, (the SS boys.)Â
We would not have Pat Robertson talking to God, Patty would be theirs, The good old CSOA. We could just shake our heads at the crazy place we would call the Confederate States of "Racism.  That would be so good. Another state that wanted to leave in 1861 was Mississippi, Lincoln should have said---GO.
What does "Good old Miss. contribute to our nation? They have the biggest, meanest mosquitoes you ever saw, they eat you for breakfast, spit you out for lunch and eat you again for supper. Mississippi is a swamp, a huge place of two digit IQ-s, just look at the two senators we have from Mississippi, Cochran and Wicker. Have you ever listened to these two a**holes, bad----now if only Lincoln would have let them go, we would not have to explain to the rest of the world why this place acts the way it does. We could just shake our heads and say, sometimes it takes a place a little longer to get out of the caves. It would not drag us down into the swamp, we would be free of the burden of teaching these incestuous people that marrying your sister is not a good thing. They do have lots of snakes.
Let s talk about Florida----ha, ha----just circumcise the state and let it float down into the Caribbean--- "Forget about it.
Texas, the land of the people who were invited to buy ranches by the Mexican government and ended up stealing the land and calling the real owners "wetbacks. Just give it back to the Mexicans and make George W an illegal alien---that would be special! The two Senators from this place of crazies are Cornyn and the hutch lady. Someday, when you are bored, just listen to these two, yuck!
I love President Abraham Lincoln, he was a man who was haunted by his decisions and tried to do the right thing, but I am telling ya, the decision to go to war over the southern most states leaving the U.S. might have been a mistake. Just wondering!
Did I tell you that we now have "Birthers.
Disclaimer:
If I insulted a State you came from, maybe the reason you are no longer there is in the words above.
Joe Walsh-Lone Vet
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