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How To Read Ann Coulter If You Must

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James Dewey Watson, the co-discoverer of DNA, recently resigned as chancellor of Long Island's Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory for making racially insensitive remarks. But don't expect Ann Coulter to step down from the public spotlight anytime soon.

Especially as Islamo fascism tours take off on college campuses.

Even though the conservative pundit called former Vice President Al Gore and Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards the "f" word for gay, ridiculed 9/11 widows, claimed Ambassador to France Pamela Harriman "slept her way to the top," told disabled Vietnam veteran and former Georgia Senator Max Cleland, "People like you caused us to lose that war," recommended poisoning Supreme Court Justice Stevens, called reporter Helen Thomas an "old Arab," called Senator John Kerry a kept spouse and claimed she suffered more listening to Abu Ghraib stories than did the inmates, Coulter is not big on self correction.

In fact she felt so ashamed about the lapses she says she "couldn't stop laughing."

Still there are signs Coulter's career might be on decrescendo judging from the melodramatic and dated tone to her new bestseller, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd be Republicans. (Coulter doesn't write books; she writes "bestsellers.")

"True, it was heartless of me to question whether al Qaeda had specifically targeted the Jersey Girls' husbands and whether the other 2,994 victims were just collateral damage. I should have just told them to 'put some ice on that,' as Juanita Broaddrick says Hillary's husband did after raping her."

Got that?

"Liberals are racked by self-loathing as the result of some traumatic incident--say, driving drunk off a bridge with your mistress passed out in the back seat and letting the poor girl drown because you're a married man and a U.S. Senator, just to take one utterly random, hypothetical example off the top of my head."

And that?

Coulter doesn't seem to realize Chappaquiddick and Bill Clinton's infidelities are not high on the public's indignation scale anymore. Same with "[Clinton's] groping Kathleen Willey simultaneously with her own spouse committing suicide."

And what is a proponent of family values doing naming chapters, Bill Clinton: He Left a Mark on History That May Never Come Out--wink wink--and making Moby Dick jokes anyway?

Also dated is Coulter's polarizing "us and them" language.

"How about attacks on gays? Maybe gay-bashers are just tired of being told they have no sense of style."

"It's always the same people who characterize puncturing a baby's skull and sucking the brains out a 'constitutional right' who rise in self-righteous moral condemnation over some harmless little joke I've told."

Don't think joke one is funny? You're probably in category two!

Then there's feminism.

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Martha Rosenberg is an award-winning investigative public health reporter who covers the food, drug and gun industries. Her first book, Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health, is distributed by (more...)
 

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