If Jesus came back today (in a long robe with dark skin and hair), the Department of Homeland Security would lock Him up as an El Quaida operative and torture Him.
If Jesus came back today, He would weep over the 655,000 dead civilians, then move to Iraq and join the freedom fighters our government calls terrorists.
If Jesus came back today, He would bless all the soldiers on either side of the Iraq war, take away their terrible memories and even more terrible instincts, and rain holy fire on the Pentagon and the White House.
If Jesus came back today, He would join the people who are protesting the 5th anniversary of the Iraq war.
If Jesus came back today, most churches would take Him for a homeless man and deny Him admittance.
If Jesus came back today, teenage boys would beat Him to death, He would be buried in an unmarked grave, and Pat Robertson would call on God to forgive the “misguided children”.
If Jesus came back today, someone would try to sell Him shares in a failing hedge fund based on subprime mortgages.
If Jesus came back today, He would wonder why we feed ground-up, diseased cows to pigs and then act surprised when we get incurable prion diseases.
If Jesus came back today, He would take one look at the current Elect a President game show as televised on Fox (and other corporate media venues) and refuse to register with either political party.
If Jesus came back today, He would take Eliot Spitzer's side.
If Jesus came back today, the Fed would steal whatever money He (and other poor people) had by closing the banks and paying 10 cents on the dollar.
If Jesus came back today, He would support the Tibetan monks, and boycott Coca-Cola for not withdrawing its sponsorship of an Olympic torch run through Tibet. He would also likely be one of the 103 killed during that protest.
If Jesus came back today, He'd join the Indian workers in protest of the Indian-US human trafficking chain.
If Jesus came back today, He would take one look at the medical establishment's record and opt to visit a native healer instead.
If Jesus came back today, He would send all the fossil fuels to outer space and force us to find a better way.
If Jesus came back today, He would return ownership of all the oil fields to their country of origin, and then hide the oil under fields of solar arrays.
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