34 online
 
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 5 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
Exclusive to OpEd News:
OpEdNews Op Eds   

If Jesus Came Back Today, Easter Sunday

By       (Page 1 of 2 pages)   No comments
Message Jeanne Roberts

If Jesus came back today (in a long robe with dark skin and hair), the Department of Homeland Security would lock Him up as an El Quaida operative and torture Him.

If Jesus came back today, He would weep over the 655,000 dead civilians, then move to Iraq and join the freedom fighters our government calls terrorists.

If Jesus came back today, He would bless all the soldiers on either side of the Iraq war, take away their terrible memories and even more terrible instincts, and rain holy fire on the Pentagon and the White House.

If Jesus came back today, He would join the people who are protesting the 5th anniversary of the Iraq war.

If Jesus came back today, most churches would take Him for a homeless man and deny Him admittance.

If Jesus came back today, teenage boys would beat Him to death, He would be buried in an unmarked grave, and Pat Robertson would call on God to forgive the “misguided children”.

If Jesus came back today, someone would try to sell Him shares in a failing hedge fund based on subprime mortgages.

If Jesus came back today, He would wonder why we feed ground-up, diseased cows to pigs and then act surprised when we get incurable prion diseases.

If Jesus came back today, He would take one look at the current Elect a President game show as televised on Fox (and other corporate media venues) and refuse to register with either political party.

If Jesus came back today, He would take Eliot Spitzer's side.

If Jesus came back today, the Fed would steal whatever money He (and other poor people) had by closing the banks and paying 10 cents on the dollar.

If Jesus came back today, He would support the Tibetan monks, and boycott Coca-Cola for not withdrawing its sponsorship of an Olympic torch run through Tibet. He would also likely be one of the 103 killed during that protest.

If Jesus came back today, He'd join the Indian workers in protest of the Indian-US human trafficking chain.

If Jesus came back today, He would take one look at the medical establishment's record and opt to visit a native healer instead.

If Jesus came back today, He would send all the fossil fuels to outer space and force us to find a better way.

If Jesus came back today, He would return ownership of all the oil fields to their country of origin, and then hide the oil under fields of solar arrays.

Next Page  1  |  2

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Rate It | View Ratings

Jeanne Roberts Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

I'm a freelance writer, a former reporter, the mother of four amazingly compassionate and intelligent human beings but otherwise poor as the proverbial church mouse. I write about the important stuff: environment, corporate fraud, government (more...)
 
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

 
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Jobs, the Dollar, the Fed and the Next Great Depression

If Jesus Came Back Today, Easter Sunday

I Didn't Speak Loudly Enough

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend