37 online
 
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 3 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

SNL Skit Morphs Into Real Life Tragedy

By Sandy Sand  Posted by Sandy Sand (about the submitter)       (Page 1 of 2 pages)   No comments
Message Sandy Sand
As the list of recalled tainted and dangerous products grows, the latest being two different chicken jerky treats for dogs, imported from China and recalled by Wal-Mart, the writers of Saturday Night Live must be scratching their heads in wonder at how unwittingly prescient they were.

They probably never dreamt that their nightmare toy manufacturer, Irwin Mainway, played by Dan Aykroyd, would spring to life in the form of companies like Mattel, Wal-Mart and so many more.

Played to the hilt by Akyroyd, Mainway, with a straight face and utmost sincerity, touted his dangerous toys insisting that no child could live without them.

The killer toys, born of maniacal comedy writers' imaginations included such things as Bag O' Glass, Pretty Peggy's Ear Piercing Kit, Chainsaw Teddybear and Bag O' Vipers.

The sketches also included Mainway Hallowe'en costumes, such as a military uniform replete with a working rifle; the Invisible Pedestrian costume, ideal for trick or treating that was all non-reflective black; and, a Johnny Space Commander Mask, which was an air-tight plastic bag that attached to the head with a rubber band.

Funny in SNL sketches if not a little macabre. Where Mainway was up front and honest about his manically dangerous products, the things that are being imported from China are stealth toys.

Who would think anyone would fill dolls eyes with kerosene; or that any manufacturer anywhere would still be using lead paint; or insert tiny magnets in toys that fall off and are easily swallowed.

So in the interest of public safety, and taking a page from SNL's comedy book by committing an act of grand theft comedy, here are 13 manufacturer's tips to help you tell if your child has been exposed to or played with any tainted toys.

1-If your child seems to be constantly sticking to the fridge, he could
have swallowed tiny magnets.

2-If your child plays with the toy and an hour later wants to play with it again.

3-If Superman can't see though your child's toy, there's a good chance it contains too much lead.

4-If she draws on the walls without using a pencil.

5-If little Johnny walks by the couch and coins fly out of the cushions and stick to him.

6-If mom hugs him and hairpins shoot out of her coiffure.

7-If Billy sits too close to you while you're driving and the ignition switches to the off position.

8-If she makes darts fly off the dart board.

Next Page  1  |  2

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

Rate It | View Ratings

Sandy Sand Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a (more...)
 
Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

 
Contact EditorContact Editor
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

There are Only Three Qualifications to be President, Technically

Mystery: The Case of the Lost Schlossberg and the Found Clinton

Opinion: Distinguishing the Difference Between a News Story and an Editorial

Who's On First and Vin Scully Got to Call It

Omigawd! Barack Obama Sparkled on "60 Minutes" Interview

A Call to Arms Against the Mormon Church. End Its Tax-exempt Status Now!

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend