Code Orange: Al-manacs Alert
by Michael Arvey
as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame
".or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late
e.e.cummings
Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain--
All, all the stretch of these great green states--
And make America again!
Langston Hughes
On December 29 according to an AP release, the FBI issued a new terror alert, this time concerning those persons who might have in their possession almanacs, presumably because terrorist hopefuls could then adjust and route their nefarious deeds around the U.S. from weather tables, population figures and gardening centers where they could purchase weed cutters. Such a grim forecast.
The FBI alert "urged officers to watch during searches, traffic stops and other investigations for anyone carrying almanacs, especially if the books are annotated in suspicious ways." Suspicious sweat, disheveled hair, and red eyes perhaps? Further, the alert said, "The practice of researching potential targets is consistent with known methods of Al-Qaida and other terrorist organizations that seek to maximize the likelihood of operational success through careful planning." As do, likewise, vacation planners. The government is laying it on thick.
This glum almanac caper, coming on the heels of the Thanksgiving and Christmas alerts, rings more than a little hollow, as if we are being conditioned, en masse, to make spying incursions against our persons and our reading materials standard and acceptable behavior. Cui bono. It further essays to condition us for a bona fide attack that they are certain is coming. The question is, why are they so certain? Will next week's alert be for lunch boxes that harbor, along with almanacs, a common denominator of absurdity?
Look on the bright side. The alert warrants a curious flip through this year's Old Farmer's Almanac, if nothing else. Fascinating information, even if it's unclear how a terrorist would find it useful. For example, the moon's place in the astrological zodiac right now is in Pisces--might come in handy if you're late planting bulbs this year. Consider weather terms: Whiteout, Nor'easter, freezing rain and snow-- useful on a terrorist's dog-sledding expedition in Alaska toward the North Slope and Prudoe Bay. Maybe can information? A #5 can size holds 56 fl. oz., a #2 can 20 fl. oz. No? Surely this, then: "Snowfall 2002-2003 will be much above normal for Washington D.C. northeastward through most of New England and in the lee of the Great Lakes in New York State." Or lastly from the Golden Rule section, Islam: "No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself." (Sunnah)
Homeland Security making you feel secure? BushCo are one-crop farmers to the greenwood gone, the Whitehouse is a madhouse, and Tom Ridge's portfolio for us is one full of sweet charms? All things being equal, what do you suppose would happen if you were stopped in your vehicle at an intersection with a copy of any of the following beside you on the seat: Oliver Twist, War and Peace, The Communist Manifesto, Grapes of Wrath, The Koran, Huckleberry Finn, a book of Rumi's poems, the Constitution, or, God forbid, 1984?
Illegitimati non carborundum: Don't let the bastards grind you down.
Michael Arvey writes from Colorado.
