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Adoption: Pitting Women Against Women

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Mirah Riben
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Delayed childbearing and infertility increase the demand of healthy infants and pit women against women over who deserves and is entitled to raise them. Can we end the cycle?

Feminism has done little to decrease women's desire to become mothers, other than delay it. The problem is that feminism convinced an entire generation or more of women to delay those urges until after they had their education and careers, thus missing their most fertile time in life.

Sadly, there are too few feminists allowing women to embrace their femininity and unique ability to procreate when they are most fertile and pursue career later in life. Life is quite long; there is time to do it all - in the right order.

Rosie the Riveter convinced women to leave their kitchens and children and go to work during WWII. They were then convinced to leave their jobs and return home when the war ended and men needed the jobs. Women have been directed and engineered as society needed them to be.

Women who now see a strong need for a career need to consider the pros and cons and recgonze that social engineering is at play for society’s benefits:

1) two spendable incomes instead of one by having them hold high-powered careers

2) support of two multi-billion-dollar industries: the reproductive technology sector ($3 billion) and the adoption sector ($2-3 billion a year in the U.S, and $6.3 internationally).

Other trends such as breast and bottle feeding have gone back and forth in popularity. Women were convinced to give up what was natural and free to support the formula industry - which is part of the huge pharmaceutical industry. Used. Harmed; mothers and their children for the sake of profit; pawns in a greedy capitalistic society.

Greed is also what contributes to competitiveness between women over the scarce prize of a baby. They are fighting so hard to have what they want, they are able to ignore the harm they cause another. Like women fighting over a blue-light special at bargain basement annual bridal gown sale!

There are also factors of human nature. One is something called "fundamental attribution error."

When we are trying to understand and explain what happens in social settings, we tend to view behavior as a particularly significant factor. We then tend to explain behavior in terms of internal disposition, such as personality traits, abilities, motives, etc. as opposed to external situational factors.

This can be due to our focus on the person more than their situation, about which we may know very little. We also know little about how they are interpreting the situation.

Western culture exacerbates this error, as we emphasize individual freedom and autonomy and are socialized to prefer dispositional factors to situational ones. International adoption increases the gap and distances the oppressed from those who profit.

When we are playing the role of observer, which is largely when we look at others, we make this fundamental attribution error. When we are thinking about ourselves, however, we will tend to make situational attributions. International adoption increases the gap and distances oppressor and those who profit.

Women are judged most for their maternal/parenting skills/ability and are harshest on and most judgmental of one another when they perceive a lack thereof. Parenting skills hold less expectation of perfection in men, so they are judged much lighter. That is why our courts - and the public - are very unmerciful on mothers who abandon, kill, abuse etc.

Men compete in sports and business. Women, traditionally, have this one area of comparison, pride and judgment.

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Mirah Riben is a human rights activist with a focus on families, children and adoption reform. She is author of two internationally acclaimed books - "shedding light on...The Dark Side of Adoption" (1988) and "THE STORK MARKET: America's (more...)
 

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