Nearly any issue can be built into a major story if you have a need for fill for the 24/7 news cycle. The latest craze seems to be balloons and the fear of Chinese, or worse if it becomes the Russians, spying on us with hi-tech balloonery. So now like a new episode by the devious Chinese (and later the Russians) in the new version of our Cold War, as they now might be using those innocent balloons as a means to threaten our national security. Is it not an act of war? How is it different than sending bombers or missiles?
There is even a theory that goes well beyond the craven Chinese or Russians, to the aliens. Some sources seem to make it pretty clear that aliens have been observing us for a long time, and perhaps even subtly intruding into our way of life.
The story goes like this:
Aliens have been, for decades, maybe even centuries, observing us and using methods to find out how to use and manipulate us for their devious ends. Years ago, I believe in 1864, they began their first balloon experiments which were really created to interest and entertain people. What no one knew was that they were really mind control devices. At first their purpose was to produce excitement and enjoyment into those humans who first saw them. Later they found that colored balloons could control the minds of children, and even some adults, to have a sense of joy. Later they saw that bigger balloons could create a sense of adventure and awe in human audiences.
After that, other emotions were added, scientific exploration with high altitude balloons and weather balloons. There were even those who got so overwhelmed that they wanted to fly around the world in balloons. They were used in wars.
Humans had clearly adopted them as an acceptable part of life that represented little threat. So now the aliens are using them to spy on us more directly, knowing that we would blame it on our demonized enemies. Could they use these balloons as a pretense to cause human craziness and perhaps even a war to wipe out most of the human population?
Apparently so.
So, how to protect ourselves from this alien threat to our national security and our way of life? Outlaw balloons. Wipe them out of existence. Take them out of the hands of children, adventurers and even scientists. Use force, if necessary, if they won't let go of them.
There have even been reports of children being killed because they wouldn't let go of birthday balloons.
It is time to make the world safe from balloons and the threat they represent. Everyone, and I mean everyone, must join this new war on balloons if we hope to survive as a human race. Talk about an existential threat.
Now before it is too late, we must recognize balloons as a threat to the American way of life.
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