OK, Boortz, boorishness is a bit boring. Your lines sound like you lifted them straight from some radical mullah and that you merely substituted Muslim for Zionist. The same goes for you, Savage. Only your remarks are even more bestial. Granted, both your remarks are surprisingly effective in an allegedly civilized country. Indeed, I am quite happy that all it appears to take to start a fight these days is someone grunting and posturing like a killer ape. All that much better you two can speak enough to call names.
Such nice name calling it is, Snow job. Nothing like attacking the messenger, is there, to protect your master? The same goes for you, Ingraham. Nothing warms my heartlessness any more than seeing an ignorant, unappreciative "champion of traditional values" show such tasteless disrespect toward the elderly.
Likewise, Coulter, such hateful disrespect it is that you show toward a free press. Anyone who disagrees with your views should be executed. The same goes for anyone who even considers dropping your column. My only problem is stylistic. You need to tell less and show more. Stop talking about attacking and killing. Fly your broom straight into the New York Times building. The resulting explosion sparked by your large load of hellfire and noxious fumes should indefinitely close down midtown Manhattan.
Gingrich, shut up blabbing company secrets. I strictly cautioned you to only tell the faithful that the new code word for "Vote Republican" is "World War III." But don't worry. I'm quite sure you will get your war in time to save Congress from the voters.
Jerry Falwell, you are my Merry Fraudwell. You are this week's winner for having said that you will chastize the state department if it ever told Israel to slack up on the killing. Hell forbid a conservative Christian ever preaching Jesus' message of peace, love and brotherhood. Keep on preaching my anti-Christ message in the name of Jesus. You know it well, Merry Fraudwell. Damn the peacemakers. Screw the poor. sh*t on those who mourn now for they are going to be whining like losers tomorrow. Blessed are those who feast now, for they have been chosen by God to have dominion over the world. Blessed are those who make wars, for they know how to get what God wants them to have. Blessed are those who curse and hate their enemies, and care only for those of the same creed and race. For they shall be called the sons of Mammon and they shall own the earth. After all, what good is it to have a soul if you cannot gain the world? The love of money is the root of all pleasure and success. Where would I be without wolves like you to help herd the flock, Merry Fraudwell?
Once again, thank you, my pugnacious pundits. And your Muslim counterparts have asked me to relay a message to you. They have been listening to your rhetoric and feel like that they are surpassing you in terms of results. So allow me to issue a challenge to both you Christian and Muslim hate-mongers to really turn up the heat this week. Let's get those wars started. Bring it own. Just remember: show, don't tell.
Spitefully yours,
Lucifer B. Mammon de Mephistopheles
Tags: Neal Boortz, Ann Coulter, Jerry Falwell, Fundamentalism, Fundamentalist Christians, Fundamentalist Muslims, Newt Gingrich, Hezbollah, Israel, Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh, Media Matters, Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, Tony Snow, Helen Thomas, World War III, Satire, Hypocrisy, Media Bias, New York Times, Right wing media, Seattle Times
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