Dear Pakistanis,
As an American citizen I want to ask for a big favor: please, abduct Hillary. Take her, folks. Sell her to the harem or do something else, I don't care. I doubt if she is a good cook, I doubt if she is a good ANYTHING but in the circle of eunuchs she would be quite in her place, really.
Didn't you get it? We sent her to you for this. You should have figured us out by this time: we have no foreign policy. Our State Department is called Foggy Bottom for a reason- we send our worst there. Hey, Madeleine, and Condi were there before, right? And our ambassadors- you know them. They are so ignorant that even a garbage collector on the street of Peshavar is a genius compared to them. We have no foreign policy; we have only johns and drones. So when Hillary comes to you and crapshoots in her slacks and hejab- take her! We are the people of entertainment! Imagine the headlines:
- Al- Qaeda targets American women?
- Will Obama send a drone for her or will he send Bill?
- Is it a liberal plot ( Rush Limbaugh)?
-The Arab buyer says Hillary is not sexy!
- Israeli Mossad is preparing a secret mission to free Hillary!
- Bosnian Serbs want to buy Hillary for fun!
-Ahmadinejad refuses Hillary even with a discount!
Caught my drift? That will be fun and a lot of money to spend. More than on Iraqi war.
Folks, please, do not take Hillary seriously. She is from Arkansas, don't you know that? Mark Twain said once that the stupidest people in the US resided there and Hillary definitely proves it. We actually have a pandemic in the US and it is not H1N1. The disease is called Hillarite. It manifests itself in the cohorts of chromium-blooded, stupid, moronic, ignorant people of both female and male genders; the closer to power and money the more of them are there. There is no medical cure; only a good old- fashioned spanking can do the job. Sell her to Singapore for all I care, only do not let her go. And if you do that for us I throw in for free Condi Rice, Madeleine Allbright, Michelle Bachman, Ann Colteur, Orly Taits, Bill- O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck (perfect for harems) and more. We have an unlimited amount of morons and they are all unique. We can sell them retail or bulk. We can sell them as a side dish to weapons and ammo. We can even exchange them; only not for your morons, please.
So, take her and Godspeed. We are allies, after all. Do us a favor and I assure you- it will be to the mutual benefit. Only one warning- do whatever you want but do not listen to her. Never ever. This is an advice from a true friend.
PS. I thank Jane Schiff for pointing out the offensive character of the word 'Pakis'. I most certainly did not mean to insult them.
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