Article: Serve this, Laura Bush

New china at the White House. Some fine china. $485,000 worth. Surely there are some new dessert plates for them to eat cake.

Damn, it's about time. God forbid the President and his guests eating off a plate old enough for Abe Lincoln to have used. The rest of us might not be able to afford anything to put on a plate but God knows when the rich and powerful come to feast at the shrine of democracy that they ain't going to be drinking out of Dixie cups and eating charred weiners.

No, sir, not in America. Ol' Rush Limbaugh had it right when he said:

"Citizen service is a repudiation of the principles upon which our country was based. We are all here for ourselves."

If we commoners didn't have the rich to show us the way, what would we strive for? While we might not get it here on earth, we can thank the fat cats for showing us what it's going to be like in heaven so long as we are good little girls and boys and always remember to vote for God's Own Party.

Damn all those nay sayers who say it's in bad taste to spend so much money on new china when we are in the worst economic crisis since the great depression. Hell, the fall of the stock market in '29 was just a natural event that would have straightened itself out. But look what that do-gooding commie-loving Roosevelt did. Government regulation and meddling. Social security. Public works. Bridges and roads. Putting people to work. Spending money that could have gone into the pockets of the rich. The market wasn't free to do what it wanted it anymore.

That's why it was necessary to privatize social security and health care. Privatize everything. Roll back this notion of government being a friend of the people instead of another tool for the rich. How dare the consumers think they could form a union of the people, by the people and for the people. This here is a Republic, just like in the glory days of Rome. This here ain't no democracy where everybody has a say. Lord knows where this country would be if anybody other than rich white landowners had anything to say about the laws. Democracy is mob rule. Only those smart enough to be rich are smart enough to govern.

That's why they must be rewarded with the best of china when they come to be venerated at the White House. After all, we wouldn't the King of Saudi Arabia to feel shortchanged when he comes inquiring about our arrearage.