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The Devil That is Desire

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Why is that by merely wanting something, we somehow repel it. I doubt it would be possible to quantify this effect under laboratory conditions, but what human being wouldn't agree? You only have to really want something for it to all of a sudden become elusive. Late for work and need the bus to come quickly? Need a taxi to the airport? Have a job interview and really want them to call you back? Waiting for a phone call from a potential suitor? Somehow we know that all these situations are prime candidates for frustration and anger.

It may seem like superstition, but it is a fundamental truth in life that by attaching ourselves to an outcome we lessen or even significantly reduce our chances of happiness.

The religions of the Indian sub-continent have harped on this idea for thousands of years. The Upanishads, the Bhagavad-Gita and the Buddhist Sutras all continually focus on relinquishing desire and attachments to people, feelings and things. They tell us to not to attach ourselves to the outcomes of our actions, just act freely. They assure us that this is the path to happiness and even enlightenment.

While these ideas "feel" very Buddhist they are just as much Hindu, the mother of Buddhism. Houston Smith in his wonderful work The World's Religions writes eloquently how Buddhism was born out of Hinduism only to be slowly absorbed back into it on the Indian sub-continent.

There is one very simple and important question to ask about the teaching of non-attachment, is it simply a safer bet? By not putting your eggs in any basket are you simply assuring that none get broken? Is it in effect a coward's path? It is not. It is the path of death, of transformation and of spiritual growth.

Non-attachment goes much deeper than just "being okay" with what happens. The key to understanding the concept of non-attachment is to focus on what is attaching itself to things, people and ideas. Becoming aware of attachment is the beginning of true consciousness. The ego is what is attaches itself, it is the glue. There is no psychological pain, frustration, heartbreak, anger or hate that the ego is not completely responsible for. The path to redemption always begins with discovering that we aren't who we really we think we are. The hero is never really the child of his "parents", he always winds up being some else's child. This is mythologies way of indicating that we are not the ego.

Gautama Buddha began is spiritual path as a young prince with a beautiful wife and newborn baby. Many important seers predicted Buddha would be either a great king or a great spiritual leader. His father wanted him to be a king, so he sheltered Buddha from religious teachings and seeing anyone elderly or suffering. But at the age of 29 he accidentally saw a man dying, and Buddha became distraught. His young and beautiful wife would one day become old and decrepit and his new born baby would eventually taste death. This realization was too much for him, and he left everything to become a monk in the forest. Buddha had a major existential depression. The two paths were presented to him, and he, like all heroes, chose the path of death. So many spiritual traditions point out that there are two paths, and like Buddha, the truth lies on the difficult road.

Not to belabor the obvious, but our modern society puts so much time and energy into avoiding seeing and discussing death that we seem to be constantly running from it. One turns forty and becomes melancholy which turns into some plastic surgery, a new car, and a prescription for anti-depressants. Even our government bans photographing flag covered caskets because, God forbid, people might begin equating war with the death of young people. Death is the only teacher; it defines us, tempering our appetites and rage. It is our better half, and the more we try and escape it, the sillier, shallower and more pathetic we become.

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Robert Bonomo is a blogger, novelist and internet marketer. He has lived and worked in Madrid, San Francisco, Buenos Aires, Kamchatka, New York and a few other not so interesting places. He has worked as a car salesman, land surveyor, media (more...)
 
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