About the size of a pea, a high colonic was able to lodge the brain free from where it had been impacted. Doctors theorize that Bush had had his head up his butt for so long that his brain had dislodged during severe cerebral strain induced by attempting to express a coherent sentence. They said the stuck brain would also explain his severe myopia and inability to hear a thing anybody said.
However, doctors disagree if the condition was the result of a congenital anal defect or an outbreak of acute bovine encephalitis. They can't decide if he's a born ass or if his head is simply full of bull$#!+.
Regarding the procedure, White House spokesman Tony Snow said "The president wants to encourage everybody to use surveillance." Funny. The way most Americans feel about Bush's secret government spying on them, they already feel like they're in the middle of a colonoscopy with big brother way too far up their private business.
