To all you frustrated, racist or reactionary types out there in viewer-land who will always be unhappy and are particularly unhappy at this moment in American History, some general logistical advice.
1. Identify your local Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) squadron and their physical location. The local police armory will no doubt be very physically close to where this squadron has its HQ. If it's like every other bloated bureaucratic entity, they're fat, dumb and happy with a bunch of Homeland Security grant money that they used to buy cars, guns, ammo and protective gear. That there's only one way in or out of their shift briefing area never occurs to them as a security issue.
2. Keep an eye on your local SWAT team. Become their best friend. Obtain as much logistical information about the squadron as you can. Most SWAT guys are true believers with opinions of their professionalism that are way out of accord with their actual capabilities. Just ask a SEAL team guy who's had to train some of these weebles. OTOH, there's always at least one guy on a squad who's actually good at what s/he does. Once you've identified this person and can quarantine them during an action, the rest of the team won't be able to find their arses with both hands and a flashlight.
3. Identify your local radio and television stations. Show up and ask to purchase a copy of the prior night's telecast of the news. Take special note of any security guards or security doors that separate the public from the broadcast studios. Think about how many people it would take to isolate and secure this station and begin broadcasting your message of salvation. Set up an 800 number and an off-shore phone bank to accept donations to your cause. Get Rev. John Hagee to write your phone scripts.
4. Divide your troop into squads of no larger than 5 people. Begin training for physical endurance, self-defense, tactics and weapons handling. Not everyone can draw-down on another person...find out who can kill and who is better off as a medic. Find out who can cook and who can decorate. Identify other specialty functions that can be handled within each five person squad. Think about reunions and anniversary get-togethers -- you don't want them to be dull, do you?
5. Obtain top-notch, encrypted communications equipment that fits securely over the head and into your ear. More than nightvision goggles, these devices are crucial to your survival and your mission. If unlimited texting is only 10 bucks extra a month, buy it. It's a steal.
6. Do NOT make bulk purchases of ammunition. Spread the purchases out over time and physical distance. Unless you WANT an unexpected visit from the FBI or ATF, don't make waves. They watch for ammo purchases, not weapons. Make sure to throw in some purchases of air freshener, potpourri, morel mushrooms, fountain pens, Village People mp3's and condoms on the same credit card in the same day to throw them off.
7. Use your squads to coordinate two and three pronged attacks designed to neutralize your local SWAT team and news media outlets within a single 60 minute period around a major or important local holiday. Lunchtimes are perfect for these assaults as traffic creates a problem for law enforcement, not for folks who realize that law and order has become a fiction. Remember to bring an extra dozen donuts for the pinned down constables in case there is a stand-off and you need to negotiate. Jelly donuts work best, but a well-put-together french crewler with icing can stun them into submission.
8. If you are smart, you will plan your assaults to minimize casualties...it's simply easier to lock your adversaries up where they can't get at you, than if it gets bloody. Think shift changes. Think creature comforts. Think local prostitutes to include in their temporary confinement. In addition to the donuts.
9. Be realistic. You will probably be dead, or a pimp, when it is over, so leave something behind that actually benefits the rest of humanity. Think of justice, social and economic, and think in terms of the messages your actions will send to the community you leave behind. Leave the world in better shape than how you found it.
That simple felony manslaughter could perform this act better than cleaning up your campsite or using your turn-signals at major intersections speaks to just how awful things have become.
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