Santa, Enemy Combatant
By Anthony Wade
Apparently wishing to go out with one significant arrest during his tenure at The Department of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge announced today the arrest of Santa Clause.
In a daring midnight raid, FBI and local North Pole law enforcement officials stormed the previously unknown residence of the reclusive elf-master. A local officer was quoted as saying Mr. Clause was in the middle of wrapping boxes, with unknown contents, a sure sign of terrorism-related activities.
Mr. Ridge defended the collar today by saying,
