Diary: Ordinary Heroes

Last night I went to the 'Dari-Mart'

I was joking with one of the two female cashiers working the late night shift.......when this guy storms in......shouting obscenities....totally agitated.

I was scared....sure he was on meth-amphetamines.....drunk.....and dangerous.

He's about 30, and of average height and weight. He's pacing, swearing the f.....word repeatedly......saying he's going to kill 'this guy'. Then he grabs a glass bottle from the cooler......he will use it to smash in the other man's skull......he wishes he had a gun on him......all this in a 'total rage'.

I was too shocked to make out anything this man was yelling....except for those scary threats......and I felt threatened.

So I keep my eyes on the short, stocky, and black woman working behind the counter.....wondering if she got some kind of alarm. I try to assess how scared she may be........and able/unable to save my life. She's hard to read....seems very calm ....listening....evaluating.....alert.

After some time, she slowly walks over to where the phone is....picks it up...and dials.

The guy temporarily stops pacing, and shouting, and swinging his bottle......I am waiting for him to attack her. But before he has a chance, she calmly holds out the receiver to him.....in a gesture clearly communicating that she wants him to speak to whoever is on the other end. He looks perplexed.....her mouth barely forms the word 'Police'....he takes it.

This is followed by an outburst of shouting 'fucks' and other insults and obscenities at the police, and now I am convinced the man is 'crazy'. I glance at the cashier again, but she remains undisturbed....acknowledges though my implied question to her: "Does he really expect the police to come and help him out"? (talking about
killing the other man with his bare hands, now?)
But then maybe this will prompt the cops to get over here fast......and arrest this 'maniac'.

After the scene on the phone, I am for the first time able to think. I remember learning about 'feeling opposites'. (Those are feelings that operate together in pairs, and usually one is in the foreground, while the other is in the background.)
i.e. 'anger vs. fear'.....'rage vs. helplessness'......'ecstasy vs. agony'

I suddenly understand what this man is experiencing.......and 'knowing'......my previous fear is replaced by empathy. The intense rage this man has been expressing, (and which is scary , and very threatening to unknowing bystanders....and even to those who should know better, like police officers).......was almost certainly a direct reaction to a very frightening experience this young man must have had very recently, and which involved another man....and a situation which made him feel 'utterly helpless'.

I turn to the man, and wait for him to look in my direction; then I ask : "What happened?"

"The f*cking piece of sh*t 'jumped me'! attacked me! almost killed me! came from the nowhere out of the bushes.......holding a knife! He comes in here...and I will kill him.....bash in his head!"

I get the idea when he swings the glass bottle once again......I feel somewhat relieved........UNTIL....? .......the 'other man' opens the door, and enters this small 'convenience store'.

No question! 'Disgusting Piece of sh*t' suddenly sounds immensely flattering in the context of this person's overall appearance. An image comes to my mind.... the deep contents of an outhouse that has not been cleaned for a decade.

Anyhow! The 'dirty, orange spider' ......with black specks of what at some point must have been teeth......he heads right over to the beer cooler.....when the cashier speaks up.

With a calm and clear voice she tells the guy that she will not sell him any alcohol, and that he has had enough.

' Spider' spins around....(I am trying not to think of the dark bushes he jumped out of).......he starts arguing with the cashier,

She in turn repeats the same words she told him before.

I am impressed that he doesn't just attack her...or just takes the beer and walks out...ignores her. Instead, he continues to argue with this woman, who is no taller than 5'1.....but she's got something else about her....authority! She shows no fear....appears unimpressed .......in control. Not once does she raise her voice.... she makes no threats......gives no warnings.

The guy leaves the store with a look bordering on 'obedience'.

It is at that moment, when this short, stocky, strong , skilled, powerful, wise and courageous woman becomes 'My Hero'.

Her actions have not been lost on the 'wounded man' either......the one, who not too long ago was swinging a glass bottle , shouting insults at the police... fully prepared to kill his attacker, and who in return would almost surely leave this victim of his with many nightmares yet to come.

The man appears to be in a state of shock now....mumbles something about the 'brave cashier'.....no more swearing.....he looks utterly exhausted, and somewhere lost in space.

I pay for my groceries when 'the other cashier' crawls out of her 'hiding place'. I tell 'My Hero' how much I respect her. Her response: "Nobody messes with me!"

The rest of the story is rather uneventful.

On second thought, I return to the cash register and I hand the 'cowardly cashier' another dollar......then pick up a red 'Mon Cherie'.

I walk over to 'wounded man'......he looks very vulnerable and small now......I place the chocolate in his hand.

"Supposed to be good for endorphins.... make you feel better.....the chemicals in chocolate"...I say

He looks at me from far away........"Oh, Thank You!"

I leave the store about 15 minutes later....decline 'My Hero's offer to accompany me to my car....I thank her again.

I pass the 'bums' with my car..... they are hanging out by the bike path....collecting empty bottles.

I try to calculate.... that if I were to run over them......could I manage to get all four of them in 'one hit'?

The End. Katrin Reichhold Eugene, OR