"What do you want X to know?" "What do you hear Y saying?" "Is that it?"
Then, same exact questions with previous speaker listening and previous listener speaking. If the first invited listener says they don't want to reflect, no problem. Ask them to speak and the other to reflect. After they feel heard, they are likely to be more able to listen.
3. ACTION PLAN
Once both children have said they feel understood, you get THEM to problem solve while you sit back and enjoy.
Your tools for this phase are simply:
"Does anyone have any ideas for how to solve this issue?" "Does that work for you?"
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To demonstrate how this may look in real life, below are two transcripts of actual micro-circles I recently facilitated. As you will see, the kids don't have to be siblings - but it helps if they (and their care-takers) know you and trust you.
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EXAMPLE ONE: CAMPING TRIP (Aaron: 8; Rachel: 3 1/2; Zach: 6 1/2)
Rachel: "Mom! Aaron and Kaleb won't let me play with them!"
Me: "Aaron, can you come here please? Thank you. Rachel, what do you want your brother to know?"
Rachel: "I want to play with you guys!!"
Me: "Aaron, what do you hear your sister saying?"
Aaron, rolling his eyes, his voice sounding annoyed, "She wants to play with us. But..."
Me, interrupting gently: "Hold on, just a minute. Rachel, is that it? Is that what you want your brother to know?"
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