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School of the Canadas

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John S. Hatch
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In Chile, or Argentina, or both, graduates passed on their new American inspired knowledge to locals by kidnapping homeless drunks and torturing them to death. Such a sterling commitment to learning! Then they dumped the bodies back in the community in order to cause maximum terror. Two birds, so to speak. I just hope Eduardo knows what he got himself into. But then dentists can't be too squeamish.

People kept trying to get The School of the Americas shut down, calling it 'Coup School' and 'Torture School', so in a clever move of avoidance, the people in charge just changed the name to ''The Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Co-operation', and killer students keep cramming in from places like Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, Chile, Columbia, Costa Rica, Ecuador, El Salvador, Paraguay, Guatemala, Panama, Haiti, Honduras, Mexico, Peru, Uruguay, and even Venezuela. I worry about Eduardo at the prom, if he gets that far. That wouldn't be a place for loose lips.

I told him he didn't have to go all the way to Georgia and put up with those horrible southern accents, when we have the equivalent thing right here. In Regina. It's called the Depot. I told Eduardo if he simply had to consort with sadists, weirdoes and thugs, he should just become a Mountie. Become a 'member'. At the Depot you get an enticing curriculum of 785 hours which includes:

Electrocution.

Bashing people in the head with batons.

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I'm a Vancouver writer and film-maker. I have written extensively on political issues, mostly involving American foreign and domestic policy, and also issues in common with Canada such as the ongoing Omar Khadr case. My favorite outlets are OpEd (more...)
 
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