(S)he was reviled in many media reports as a liar and a gold digger.
They could have cared less if she was physically abused, or if she stayed with him, or if she left him. All that they cared about was preventing her from getting any of Mike Tyson's money. And they were successful in that, just like they have been successful in preventing men, who are entitled to a settlement from their rich wives, from receiving what they are due. Their tactic is to humiliate the person whose financial enrichment they oppose, to the extent that the person flees, before they get what they are entitled to. In the case of Robin Givens, she left a marital estate valued at $50 million dollars, that was not protected by a pre-nupe, "without a dime."
Now the same mainstream media is singing a different song, with the same old tune, for Rihanna. They're claiming to care so much, that they are running off her employers and fans, based on some notion that, if she doesn't abandon Chris, her supporters should abandon her. In partnership with the press, the police are violating her privacy, by wrongfully putting a hurtful image of her on display, which the media promptly published. A joint effort to make a fair trial for Chris impossible, since he won't be able to find a jury that is not looking forward to putting him to jail.
I personally don't know of any woman who left a romantic relationship the first time she was hit. The recurring theme is that leaving is a process. When Tyra spoke of leaving her abuser, she said it took 15 tries before she stuck to it. I did a Google search, using the words "the first time he hit me I left," none of the material that came up included a woman reporting that she left her significant other, the first time he hit her. Why should this 20-year-old, be held to a standard, that people twice her age don't meet?
The media is sabotaging Rihanna's career, and the police are sabotaging her image, and all of this cruelty is being heaped on a young, beautiful, talented girl who, if she's done anything wrong, it would be that she may have fallen for the wrong guy, and I wouldn't be too quick to conclude that is the case.
By contrast, Lindsay Lohan, a white female celebrity, in Rihanna's age group, can engage in public drunkenness; drunk driving; sexual promiscuity; drug use and possession; public fighting; stealing ( patrons designer fur coat from a club); car jacking; kidnapping (occupants of the car); assault with a deadly weapon (ran over the foot of escaping kidnap victim); causing costly delays to her employers due to irresponsible behavior, and the police respond by declining to charge her for most of her crimes (1), and when she is charged, she's sent to rehab; and the media either keeps her secrets, or speaks lies and distortions, to cover her crimes; and nobody even suggests that her fans, and her employers, should abandon her.
Lindsay's words to her carjack victims evidences that she knows how this society works for some celebrities, "I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want." Even warning them against interfering with her criminal activity, when they tried to regain control of the car she stole,THREATENING TO SUE THEM!!!
Then Lindsay revealed clear insight into the significance of her racial status when, intoxicated, behind the wheel of a car she was not authorized to drive, in possession of drugs, without a valid drivers license, and in the presence of 3 men she had kidnapped, she told an investigating police officer, [url=http://w href="http://wwww.tmz.com/2007/07/27/lindsay-i-wasnt-driving-the-black-kid-was/">wwww.tmz.com/2007/07/27/lindsay-i-wasnt-driving-the-black-kid-was/ t=_blank]the black kid did it . . ."
The dialogue for domestic abuse changes, like most things in American culture, when the player is Diasporan. The tone, content, and the analysis, is racially identifiable. White commentators talk about Rihanna loosing business and popularity, and Chris going to jail. Demanding that the relationship end. pointing a critically finger if Chris engages in activities that might be fun. On the other hand, Diasporans speak about the individuals as troubled, including Chris, even while acknowledging that it was wrong for Chris to hit Rihanna, but seeking a resolution that doesn't presuppose the end of the relationship, and that does not destroy him.
I'm breaking rank with the party line on domestic battery, and Oprah, who I like and admire, to declare my disbelief in the proposition that if a man hits you once, he will hit you again; and I'm going to add to that, my rejection of the theory that most women who are murdered, are the victims of physical abuse, that escalates to murder.
To date, I have identified 3 categories of physically abusive: (1) Compulsive Abuse, (2) Willful Abuse, and (3) Reactive Abuse.
A compulsive abuser can't help it - they abuse before they consciously form the intent to do it. They will hit you again.
A willful abuser sees physical force is a necessary and beneficial tool for accomplishing their goals in a relationship. It is a combination of domination and love deprivation; the basic idea of the willful abuser is that no one will love them unless they force them to love them. The willful abuser may be persuaded to give up abuse, if they can be made to believe that the payoff will be love, and/or, if they become so repelled by their violent behavior that they reject it at all cost. Change of this sort is not easy — they probably will hit you again.
The behavior of the reactive abuser is a reaction to an overwhelming stimuli, with an irrational perception of, and response to, that stimuli. People in this category, have a fearful experience tucked away inside of them, and when something that resembles it shows up, they react as though they are having that experience again. Reactive Abuse is to to emotional life, what an aneurysm is to physical life, an unknown, underlying weakness, that may not ever manifest, or that can erupt to produce a life-changing event.
The most extreme example of reactive abuse that I've heard of was a play-writer who was auditioning a woman for a part in his play, that called for an abrasive, devaluing character. As the woman assumed the character, while read the script, the play-writer ascended the stage and beat her to death.
Once a reactive tendency is discovered, this emotional fragility can be corrected, if the reactive person is motivated, and most are, because they are shocked by their own behavior. It is highly likely that a reactive abuser, will not hit you again.
They could have cared less if she was physically abused, or if she stayed with him, or if she left him. All that they cared about was preventing her from getting any of Mike Tyson's money. And they were successful in that, just like they have been successful in preventing men, who are entitled to a settlement from their rich wives, from receiving what they are due. Their tactic is to humiliate the person whose financial enrichment they oppose, to the extent that the person flees, before they get what they are entitled to. In the case of Robin Givens, she left a marital estate valued at $50 million dollars, that was not protected by a pre-nupe, "without a dime."
Now the same mainstream media is singing a different song, with the same old tune, for Rihanna. They're claiming to care so much, that they are running off her employers and fans, based on some notion that, if she doesn't abandon Chris, her supporters should abandon her. In partnership with the press, the police are violating her privacy, by wrongfully putting a hurtful image of her on display, which the media promptly published. A joint effort to make a fair trial for Chris impossible, since he won't be able to find a jury that is not looking forward to putting him to jail.
I personally don't know of any woman who left a romantic relationship the first time she was hit. The recurring theme is that leaving is a process. When Tyra spoke of leaving her abuser, she said it took 15 tries before she stuck to it. I did a Google search, using the words "the first time he hit me I left," none of the material that came up included a woman reporting that she left her significant other, the first time he hit her. Why should this 20-year-old, be held to a standard, that people twice her age don't meet?
By contrast, Lindsay Lohan, a white female celebrity, in Rihanna's age group, can engage in public drunkenness; drunk driving; sexual promiscuity; drug use and possession; public fighting; stealing ( patrons designer fur coat from a club); car jacking; kidnapping (occupants of the car); assault with a deadly weapon (ran over the foot of escaping kidnap victim); causing costly delays to her employers due to irresponsible behavior, and the police respond by declining to charge her for most of her crimes (1), and when she is charged, she's sent to rehab; and the media either keeps her secrets, or speaks lies and distortions, to cover her crimes; and nobody even suggests that her fans, and her employers, should abandon her.
Lindsay's words to her carjack victims evidences that she knows how this society works for some celebrities, "I can't get in trouble. I'm a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want." Even warning them against interfering with her criminal activity, when they tried to regain control of the car she stole,THREATENING TO SUE THEM!!!
Then Lindsay revealed clear insight into the significance of her racial status when, intoxicated, behind the wheel of a car she was not authorized to drive, in possession of drugs, without a valid drivers license, and in the presence of 3 men she had kidnapped, she told an investigating police officer, [url=http://w href="http://wwww.tmz.com/2007/07/27/lindsay-i-wasnt-driving-the-black-kid-was/">wwww.tmz.com/2007/07/27/lindsay-i-wasnt-driving-the-black-kid-was/ t=_blank]the black kid did it . . ."
The dialogue for domestic abuse changes, like most things in American culture, when the player is Diasporan. The tone, content, and the analysis, is racially identifiable. White commentators talk about Rihanna loosing business and popularity, and Chris going to jail. Demanding that the relationship end. pointing a critically finger if Chris engages in activities that might be fun. On the other hand, Diasporans speak about the individuals as troubled, including Chris, even while acknowledging that it was wrong for Chris to hit Rihanna, but seeking a resolution that doesn't presuppose the end of the relationship, and that does not destroy him.
I'm breaking rank with the party line on domestic battery, and Oprah, who I like and admire, to declare my disbelief in the proposition that if a man hits you once, he will hit you again; and I'm going to add to that, my rejection of the theory that most women who are murdered, are the victims of physical abuse, that escalates to murder.
To date, I have identified 3 categories of physically abusive: (1) Compulsive Abuse, (2) Willful Abuse, and (3) Reactive Abuse.
A compulsive abuser can't help it - they abuse before they consciously form the intent to do it. They will hit you again.
A willful abuser sees physical force is a necessary and beneficial tool for accomplishing their goals in a relationship. It is a combination of domination and love deprivation; the basic idea of the willful abuser is that no one will love them unless they force them to love them. The willful abuser may be persuaded to give up abuse, if they can be made to believe that the payoff will be love, and/or, if they become so repelled by their violent behavior that they reject it at all cost. Change of this sort is not easy — they probably will hit you again.
The behavior of the reactive abuser is a reaction to an overwhelming stimuli, with an irrational perception of, and response to, that stimuli. People in this category, have a fearful experience tucked away inside of them, and when something that resembles it shows up, they react as though they are having that experience again. Reactive Abuse is to to emotional life, what an aneurysm is to physical life, an unknown, underlying weakness, that may not ever manifest, or that can erupt to produce a life-changing event.
The most extreme example of reactive abuse that I've heard of was a play-writer who was auditioning a woman for a part in his play, that called for an abrasive, devaluing character. As the woman assumed the character, while read the script, the play-writer ascended the stage and beat her to death.
Once a reactive tendency is discovered, this emotional fragility can be corrected, if the reactive person is motivated, and most are, because they are shocked by their own behavior. It is highly likely that a reactive abuser, will not hit you again.
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