That's when the real differences show. It takes decades to truly understand a different ethnic group, and I think even a lifetime is not enough due to biological limits. After all, it's not just IQ that separates us. We have different temperaments and spirits. Having said all that, exploring the Russian or Japanese soul and trying to figure out what makes them tick, makes everyday life fascinating.
Oh!
And I hesitated adding this, but after several days of being woken up by my neighbors, I feel I must. You see, a gay Muslim friend of mine, (who I met in Japan), was privileged enough to immigrate to America. And yet, all day on facebook he would b*tch and whine about the country. Obviously as someone who felt the need to leave my own country, I agree with most of what he said. But I'm still a patriotic nationalist despite all the sh*t I talk about my country, and so it irked me. After all, he would be thrown in jail if he was openly gay in his home country. How dare he move to another country and immediately complain and advocate for more "diversity" and critique the culture and politics.
I think most people, (especially Russians), can relate to this sentiment. The average Ruski is incredibly hard on their own country. But it's like how you can make fun of your siblings, but when someone else does you knock their teeth in. I'd like to say I always respected this, but it's not true. I was more brazen in my earlier days of travel, and hypocritically complained about Japan with the very Muslim I referred to earlier. It's not just me, though. Go on any expat forum, and it's full of gripes.
The first thing ESL teachers talk about when they meet is how much they miss peanut butter or how they hate the pollution or whatever. And yet, they don't go home. The same is true of Mexican immigrants in America and Africans in Europe, if you ever take the time to chat with them. (Which is part of what made me more rightwing and nationalist.) The vast majority who don't go home are economic migrants. Economic in terms of balancing the supply & demand of money, or balancing sexual market value.
Which is why I try my best to be respectful to my host nation. And even make a habit of catching myself thinking ungrateful thoughts by telling myself, "Don't like it? Then leave." Well, I'm still here in Moscow. So, I clearly like it, and am very appreciative for their hospitality.
Having said all that, I feel I must warn you, dear reader, the truth about Russian neighbors. They are the worst I've ever had in my entire life. Not face to face. Face to face, they are incredibly friendly and there are countless babushkas who will give you pickled tomatoes and other homemade gifts as if you're family. I'm talking specifically about how loud the neighbors are.
I am an incredibly deep sleeper. As a hitchhiker I zonk out next to highways all the time, and have adapted to every country I've been in. Except for with Russians. The same is true with locals here. They also wake up thanks to neighbors and will bang on the old soviet water heaters that are threaded throughout the complex when they're annoyed. It's impossible to adapt because it's not a white noise like the motorcycles in Vietnam. The sound waves are not uniform, but rather polarized sharp spikes. Blaring techno with bone rattling bass at 3AM. Screaming couples at 1AM. Hammering and drilling at 9AM.
I finally figured out why. My girlfriend's brother told me that there's no word for "privacy" in Russian. Well, there is, but not with the same meaning that Americans have for it. From a NY Times article on the subject:
And this blog that confirms the veracity of the previous article:
Consequently, if you don't have enough money for a house or gated community, then prepare yourself mentally for a college dorm atmosphere. If you're the partying type, it can be a blast. Otherwise, get some sound canceling headphones. Maybe that's why Russians put rugs on the wall? Why not stack two or three for good measure.
Oh!
And I hesitated adding this, but after several days of being woken up by my neighbors, I feel I must. You see, a gay Muslim friend of mine, (who I met in Japan), was privileged enough to immigrate to America. And yet, all day on facebook he would b*tch and whine about the country. Obviously as someone who felt the need to leave my own country, I agree with most of what he said. But I'm still a patriotic nationalist despite all the sh*t I talk about my country, and so it irked me. After all, he would be thrown in jail if he was openly gay in his home country. How dare he move to another country and immediately complain and advocate for more "diversity" and critique the culture and politics.
I think most people, (especially Russians), can relate to this sentiment. The average Ruski is incredibly hard on their own country. But it's like how you can make fun of your siblings, but when someone else does you knock their teeth in. I'd like to say I always respected this, but it's not true. I was more brazen in my earlier days of travel, and hypocritically complained about Japan with the very Muslim I referred to earlier. It's not just me, though. Go on any expat forum, and it's full of gripes.
Which is why I try my best to be respectful to my host nation. And even make a habit of catching myself thinking ungrateful thoughts by telling myself, "Don't like it? Then leave." Well, I'm still here in Moscow. So, I clearly like it, and am very appreciative for their hospitality.
Having said all that, I feel I must warn you, dear reader, the truth about Russian neighbors. They are the worst I've ever had in my entire life. Not face to face. Face to face, they are incredibly friendly and there are countless babushkas who will give you pickled tomatoes and other homemade gifts as if you're family. I'm talking specifically about how loud the neighbors are.
I am an incredibly deep sleeper. As a hitchhiker I zonk out next to highways all the time, and have adapted to every country I've been in. Except for with Russians. The same is true with locals here. They also wake up thanks to neighbors and will bang on the old soviet water heaters that are threaded throughout the complex when they're annoyed. It's impossible to adapt because it's not a white noise like the motorcycles in Vietnam. The sound waves are not uniform, but rather polarized sharp spikes. Blaring techno with bone rattling bass at 3AM. Screaming couples at 1AM. Hammering and drilling at 9AM.
I finally figured out why. My girlfriend's brother told me that there's no word for "privacy" in Russian. Well, there is, but not with the same meaning that Americans have for it. From a NY Times article on the subject:
Most Russians grew up in dense housing blocks, where children ran wild in closed central courtyards. Cul-de-sac translates in Russian as tupika word that evokes vulnerability and danger, a dead end with no escape.
"It's such a new concept for them, that you can get security by putting distance between yourself and the others," he said. "The Russian concept is that you're safe when you're with the crowd."
He devotes many pages to privacy, a word that does not exist in the Russian language, or in the airless human mass that forms when Russians wait in line. Americans, he reports, prefer to converse at a distance of at least four feet.
"I suppose that in a typical Russian line, your average American would lose consciousness," he writes. "Any touch to an American is taken as a violation of his personal space, so in the U.S., as a rule, people do not take each other by the elbow and do not tap each other on the shoulder if they want attention, they do not embrace each other like brothers."
And this blog that confirms the veracity of the previous article:
I got the assignment because I have a Russian husband, who has himself published some essays about some of the unexpected cultural differences a Russian encounters in America, and we've been dividing our time between Moscow and Amherst for the last 15 years.
So our topic is whether the word "privacy" exists in Russian. If you ask "Google translate", you get eleven choices, and given my own moderate knowledge of Russian, none of them looked equivalent to "privacy" in the sense of valuing your privacy, or wanting to know about Facebook's privacy policies. And when I asked my husband about it, he agreed that there isn't any Russian word that's equivalent because indeed, our particular concept of privacy really isn't part of Russian culture. So Zlobin is right.
Consequently, if you don't have enough money for a house or gated community, then prepare yourself mentally for a college dorm atmosphere. If you're the partying type, it can be a blast. Otherwise, get some sound canceling headphones. Maybe that's why Russians put rugs on the wall? Why not stack two or three for good measure.
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