Yes, I am observant but
see myself as a carrier of ancient, traditional ways. Kids respect that and
there is no separation between my way of life and theirs. In fact, I often
quote wisdom texts to kids in response to things they tell me and say to me.
Imagine what happens to a street kid who has no knowledge of my tradition or
any wisdom stream and I say to them, "You know what you just said was said
by this very plugged-in heavy Jewish wisdom master. His name was Maimonides and
he said what you said. What does that tell you about your mind, heart and
soul?"
When kids see that they are not crazed, labeled, outcasts and in fact they know
things about life that regular kids do not know, their suffering brings many of
them to ancient wisdom, well, it
gives them a whole new frame of reference. In fact, it blows them back. No one
ever said they were smart and wise. They generally ask me to tell them
more. They head over to other kids and tell them what they said and what I
said. It is far deeper than some rapper, talking street.
It affirms them in the temple of the lost and the kingdom of the night.
Bottom line, I want kids who are on the edge to know that, even in the darkest hour of their lives, there is a way out of their troubles, a way back into their lives. I want them to know there is always hope. For the rest of the kids, I try to be a lightning rod and a catalyst. I let them know that every single issue and question they have is very, very important, that I honor their ongoing search to find the answers. I don't want them to avoid their most important challenges and bury them. I don't want them to turn their most sensitive issues into secrets. Secrets are so toxic. They're dangerous. They drive kids underground. They destroy relationships and force honesty into the background.
Why exactly aren't these kids taken seriously?
Things are not going to
change. Remember, people are afraid of the electric power of teens. They
fear their risk taking and their bristling sexuality. Adults forget they were
once teens. They do not want to know what is going on. They have kids on drugs
- they kick them out. The kids
know everything that is going on and keep their mouths shut. There are few
people to turn to, especially in terms of abuse. Kids believe they have
to be everything from psychiatrist to best friend. Why? Because they have no
idea where to go to get real help. Kids get into self-medicating on drugs and
believe me they do not like being stoned all the time. They are suffering from
depression and anxiety. So where are they going to go? If they go to the school
counselor and say , 'I have a major jones on this drug. I need help,' they get
[kicked] out of the school.
Look at bullying. People actually think that, in America, we have huge problems
with this generation. We do not. We have problems with a select group of kids
who need help. They are so easy to identify. I know who they are after one
two-hour session. The rest of the kids need to learn other matters: How to
handle the heart and emotional issues of life. When I ask kids, how do you know
if you are in love with someone, invariably they answer "good sex." I ask
them why and they say that is what they see and know. Drug education is a
total failure in America.
Parents do not know that your average teen gets stoned, drunk, drives too fast,
twitters too much and does not end up addicted. Or arrested. These
things need comment, not punishment. Kids who are self-medicating need directed
help. Kids do not need to know about birth control and condoms. They know
all about those things.
What do they want to know
and learn? How to love and fall in love. How to know if they have found
the right one. They need conversations about relationships. They need someone
who will tell them the real deal. They need people who will listen and
engage them. When I walk in, in less then three minutes, they are riveted to
what I am saying. They have never met someone like me. I open up with very
heavy life stories. I tell them about me. I tell them what these things did to
me. (Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
They get it and when they know I have spoken to so many of their peers, they
are damned curious as to what the rest of the country is doing.
Now, a school takes on my seminar andthey know they are going to uncover
problems: incest, druggies, high-risk sex and thoughts of suicide. They are in
a bind. If they switch gears and uncover what is going on, thenparents
are going to ask, why haven't you brought this kind of help to our
children? School boards are political and they have to raise test scores.
The students' emotional life is pushed to the sidelines like the arts.
Private schools must fund-raise. What happens if they have a donor who
abuses? Remember, 20 % of all kids entering school in kindergarten walk in
already abused.
Of course, some schools, especially in Baltimore, have changed. But people live
in a lot of denial.
They have me in to take a look at what is going on and to show they are
interested, but it is a big step to move into the personal
lives of our children.
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