Leaving no merchandising stone unturned, Major League Baseball has authorized the use of team logos on a line of funeral caskets for people who want to carry their fandom unto eternity. Models for the Yankees (replete with interior pinstripes) and the Mets (with handles of mixed Dodger blue and Giant orange) went on sale at the Branch Funeral Home in Smithtown, Long Island.
The fifth stage (applicable only to team sports) involves setting up a formal selection process, sometimes referred to as a draft, for new players. To accomplish this usually requires co-opting both publically-funded and private universities. This chiefly works for the major sports-football, baseball and basketball. Alas, leagues for swimmers, high jumpers, and volleyball players have not yet developed. To be truly successful, this draft must provide endless opportunity for legal sparring and publicity seeking by both players and agents.
The end result of these five steps is a nefarious mess of interdependent CSBs. Included in this mass of sports exploiters would be the leagues (e.g., the NFL), the players and owners (e.g., the Chicago Cubs), print media, and the TV and radio networks (e.g., NBC Sports), corporate sponsors (e.g., Coca-Cola and Nike) and all the other symbio-toxic groups like the officials; the manufacturers of team logo sweatshirts, beer steins, umbrellas, et al.; the advertising agencies; and the hordes of sports "agents," writers, pundits and other sorry prostitutes camp followers.
Professional Versus Commercial Activities
Our society recognizes professional activities that are best performed by individuals with (a) special training or education, (b) a highly technical body of knowledge, and (c) the ability to exercise independent judgment when confronted by non-routine situations; society also acknowledges that (d) evaluating the competency or performance of professionals may only be accomplished by colleagues within the profession. Professionals organize societies to examine (test) prospective members, license and self-regulate performance, and, often, collaborate with state agencies to establish credentials and eligibility. Physicians, pharmacists, and lawyers may be considered typical members of professions.
An alternate definition of professional may simply be "someone who makes a living at" a particular activity, whether that activity be gardening, athletic performance or auto mechanics. In this limited sense, an athlete may be termed "professional," but too often the more restrictive definition (see above) is applied to commercial athletic workers of great physical coordination but no significant level of education, specialized knowledge or independent judgment.
Doing Sports Properly
Sports are contests between balanced players or teams without undue advantages. A football team of 250 pounders playing a team of 150 pounders isn't sport; it is a massacre. 10th graders playing basketball with college seniors would be a travesty, too. Players must also adhere to accepted rules. Basketball players may not grab opponents' shirts when they jump for a rebound; football players can not grab a facemask or block from behind.
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