China Did It! OMG

China did it.

That's what Rudy "RICO" Giuliani told a "nervous" highschool aged Kazakhstani reporter named Tatar who sat opposite him, simple, demur, dressed in what could be described as the wedding gown of Lolita on I Do day to Humbert Humbert. Naturally, the girl's gams were a festive feature of the interview, and ol' Rudy found a way to pat her hand a couple of times. Which, come to think of it, might have been when he lost his keys down his pants just after the interview.

China did it, Rudy told her. China manufactured the virus, and let it out. And they deliberately spread it all around the world.

We assume this whistleblowing news was meant as a scoop to be broken first amongst the 'retards' of country K. And maybe with an intended quid pro quo. The pair go into the bedroom shortly thereafter, and only the arrival of Borat, wearing lady's lingerie (presumably bought at the Kazakhstani version of Victoria's Secret back home and brought with him in his hand luggage), bursts in to save the girl exclaiming, She's too old for you.

China did it, but the viewer didn't care anymore. It's only a movie, we told ourselves as Rudy fished down his pants invitingly, hoping Tatar would start him up so that he would never stop never stop. But Borat broke it up before RICO could get her address and dress off and phone number. He doesn't know how lucky he was -- Borat might have packed him away in a crate with Tatar and he would have probably been eaten alive, as she did the gift monkey she came over with, and everyone knows Rudy looks like a fat chimpanzee, so".

China did it.

That's what the CIA just said in an "assessment" about how the recent pandemic started, finally coming down on the side of near-conspiracists rather than near-science. The lowly assessment mutters to the public that the CIA now believes that Covid-19 escaped from the Wuhan Institute of Virology (WIV). No new intel. No explanation of the timing. Why the change of art?

China did it.

Former Ecohealth Alliance Vice President and Senior Scientist Andrew Huff has written an "insider" account of how the Coronavirus was developed, titled The Truth About Wuhan (Skyhorse, 2022). Calling what happened "the greatest cover-up in history," he posits that there was an escape from the lab by an overwrought batshit crazed virus (gain-of-function) that had authorities (East and West) frantic to cover it up (think white hot Jimmy Cagney all buckybuckybeaver fever and mad as the Tasmanian Devil), as it became apparent it was spreading rapidly, gloves off. So, says Huff, WIV lab personnel set the virus loose in the wet market down the road and pointed fingers at the scaly pangolin, at first. Then other wilderness beasties the Chinese like to chop suey became suspects. (Think of that next time you are wowed by the delightful variety of the dim sum pushcart making the rounds, the singsong yinyangy sounds of the waiter tempting like, say, Satan at the Tree of Knowledge. 15 minutes later, you're ready for more sin.) If only Charlie Chan were there to solve the mystery, with Number One son standing in for Uncle Nephew Sam.

China did it.

But how and why did China do it? In 2014, Obama had frozen funding for GOF research saying it was too risky for development, but unfroze funding before he left office (Huff), eventually leaving the next president a Russia and China problem before he was even inaugurated. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the highest paid civil servant ($417,608 per annum) then released some funding to EcoHealth who then contracted with WIV, who then had fresh funds to continue their work with Coronavirus research, including GOF.

The question is, and not asked by the MSM, is why were we working with the Chinese in such research to begin with. They are "our" enemy, with compelling new military weapons (hypersonic) and rolling out BRICS to take away America's license to kill by economic sanctions. Hell, just a year into Trump's first presidency, the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) published a book-length framework for developing novel viruses and the need to do so before our enemies did, titled Biodefense in the Age of Synthetic Biology (2018). I reviewed the book.

China did it.

Of course, an accident by means of a released virus was bad for a political career, Barry knew that, but offshoring GOF could prove even worse, if the pandemic can be located in the cooperative work between the US and China. Yet, the NASEM framework clearly delineated the risks of developing novel bacteria and viruses not found in nature -- making them far more difficult to defend against -- and seeming to the support the idea that America, as world's cop, had to develop the Evil first to be prepared should Our Enemies decide to go that route. (As a participant in DARPA's P3 project, Vanderbilt University was running a wargame against pandemic-able viruses -- Ebola, flu, MERS -- when Covid-19 hit, and they switched gears to SARS-2, and found a solution -- monoclonal -- in 60 days.)

China did it.

But what if they didn't do it alone? What if "we" shot ourselves in the foot? What if we encouraged the cover-up Huff describes in his book? What if Trump's sot, RICO Giuliani was the unwitting crowing chicken come home to roost? co*k-of-the-walking. Little red rooster prancing before his little red hen. Or. Or. A bird of paradise wearing his best technicolor suit embarrassin' hisself dancing before a coy would-be underaged mistress who only wants his destruction?

China did it! Tatar's student newspaper back in country K might have proclaimed.

And what if Tatar were real and RICO had had his way and Tatar had found his keys and Borat rushed in too late and Rudy had had him jailed at Riker's in his get-up? And Rudy, a year later, went to Kazakhstan looking for that address she gave him and he found himself face to face with his hypocrisy: a single mother, haggard, worn out, like at the beginning of the Borat film (or at the end of the Woody Allen film with the Hemingway girl), and we, the readers of shituations, are associated back to the end of Nabakov's Lolita, after the girl is breached and made preggers and Humbert Humbert beholds her ancient / teen motherhood, and realizes she has lost her allure and his criminal perceptions need jail time and that he is a monster and that America puts out Jon Benets like an assembly line. (Remember that scene from Bad Grandfather.)

China did it, or did it? OMG LOL out loud.