Article: How the DNC Will Give Bobby the Bum's Rush

Always eager to inform far-flung fans,
Undercover I spied on DNC plans,
For I'm no simple dishwasher-cum-poet,
But fighter for truth with record to show it.
Disguised as a lawyer who reps Big Flooring,
I saw how Dems'll change delegate scoring.
.
You've heard by now about the primary flap ,
Iowa and New H are now off the Dem map
As first in the country, having to wait turn,
Till South C voters have dropped votes in urn,
And a few days later, the DNC squawks,
Their turn will come to punch in their fav' box.
.
And should they hold primaries on their own date,
At the convention, why, their delegates can wait
Outside with the press and protesters roaring,
Since inside it'll go to plan and be boring,
Their votes dispatched by the party elite
To President Joe, who loves a cool cheat.
.
But that's not all, for I've discovered the rest
Of the way they plan to keep RFK messed.
They're making a rule their candidate must sing
The Star-Spangled Banner as sweet as tone ring,
And have no relatives who worked DOJ:
Nepotism, they state, distorts justice's way.
.
Or if he makes vids wearing but a T-shirt,
Dem superdelegates will treat him like dirt,
For it's just not serious, the DNC says,
For Kennedy to show more beef than the prez:
"Intellectual depth must come first o'er facades,
Democrats aren't about six-packs and big quads."
.
Other rules will keep switching Trumpsters at bay:
"Judges will insure that no MAGA-capped may
Request a Dem ballot, and to all will inquire
'Does the voter opine Prez Joe should retire?'
Bumpers should be checked for conservative blurb,
Lest they the process of elections perturb."
.
The meeting I witnessed then came to an end,
DNC honchos sweating to condescend
To the masses who can't be left to choose
A loose-cannon leader who'd give them the blues,
So exclusion, it seems, is Motif '24:
Trump and Bobby given bum's rush to the door.