Article: Investment Advice for 2024

Investments
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Talking to a guy who loves to talk money,
And has no care from what hive comes his honey,
I got his advice on what to watch, where to spend,
For the upcoming year will prices up-send:
"Here's the skinny, Phil, on where your hard-earned to place,
And like me get ahead in this human race.
.
"First up, into residentials put your dough,
But not in Miami or old Barcelo':
Try Cairo and Amman and midtown Beirut,
As word from Jerus' is demand's gonna shoot,
Since a whole nation will soon house-hunting go,
And the low-rent market is looking to blow.
.
"Then add to your list household-stuff makers,
Like plates, cups, spoons, forks, and salt-and-pep' shakers,
Cupboards, chairs and tables will be in demand,
Mattresses, light bulbs, paint, concrete and sand.
Last, farmers and bakers will capital need:
NGOs can only so many mouths feed.
.
"Moving on, head for Wall Street to sell real short
Stocks of arms firms that do the Uke war support,
'Cause that's a done deal, i.e., done to a crisp,
For the conflict itself was but will-o'the-wisp,
Though you should watch out if the Yanks intervene:
Joe's polls are tanking and he might make a scene.
.
"Lastly give time to some good ol' oil futures,
'Cause COP '24 struck me as just moochers.
If nothing's getting done till 2050,
Oil's got legs, gas is looking damn nifty.
Houthis bomb ships, Iran could close Hormuz,
So scarce oil and gas are def' worth the schmooze.
.
"Where there's a war there a way, my motto is,
Of making fast cash like a financial whiz,
And since meanies abound and love to throw rocks,
You gotta jump fast when op'tunity knocks,
The worst being Israelis and Wash-town's Dark State:
May as well cash in on humanity's fate."