Well, you knew it had to happen someday. The Lesser of Two Evils system has finally let us down. American TV viewers were not watching two master debaters at work last Thursday; indeed, they are both past the day they could 'Portnoy Complain.' Thank Christ, Philip Roth didn't live to see this debacle. We witnessed the human stain alright. The experiment in democracy that made America the winner of American Idol has grown stale and sour as an old man who won't shower.
As pictured above, there was a time when folks would come for several miles around to meet up with Joe Biden and to pick his brains. His ideas were fresh, overflowing, like cinema popcorn. He had things to say. And he said them. Salted, we were buttered up. They weren't always his words. And he liked to muss women's hair. That's till better than wheelchair bound GHW Bush, our only ex-CIA president, who liked to grab at nurse toosh. They had to giggle like a gaggle of schoolgirls when touched if they wanted to get paid. Ed Snowden says they still ended up with a Permanent Record in case they finally snitched. But Joe can hardly speak now. He kept looking over at Trump and making growling sounds that reminded one of Lurch, the butler from the Adams Family.
As for Trump. DJ. He said little, which was fine, because he speaks like a little man anyway, and the less the better. He looked like he'd had a mind-lift to take the sags out of his thinking. But that, too, was just appearance. You look at him and remember he didn't actually write The Art of the Deal, according to its ghost writer who put out that gossy biography that said DJ essentially drove his brother to suicide, the latter shaming the family by settling for the lowly position as an airline pilot. He drank a lot, as a lot of them do, and if you think that machines are not your friend consider how many close calls on planes you may have had that were averted by the quick wits of AIs having your back while the captain and his co- got shitfaced and roleplayed scenes from Airplane ("Joey, do you like to watch grown men wrestle naked?"), with half clad stewardesses and blowup dolls.
If Biden wore a blood-drained face from a popular TV horror sitcom, then Trump was like a powdered fat goldfish on synthetic narcotics. (These are our choices for president? I wondered.) And he recently bragged about a speech he gave that was written by an AI. He said of the AI cheat bleat assembled by his version of a tech nerd: "He goes click, click, click, and like 15 seconds later, he shows me my speech, written so beautifully." Our president? Here is the speech the AI wrote. See if you can figure it out. I got, something about jumping the shark and some women should have their legs chewed off for suing him:
I don't know why. I don't know how. But DJ's spiel recalls the meandering spill of words of Joe Biden in his prime telling the story of how he chased off Cornbread and his mates who were waiting for him with switchblades in the parking lot of the pool where Ol Joe was a lifeguard. Joe had told a Black kid he couldn't go i the pool with pomade in his hair; he'd have to wear a cap; Joe called him a name: Esther. After Esther Williams, the champion swimmer. Chances are Corn Pop had no idea who Esther was. But probably he didn't like being called by a girl's name. So sharks were waiting for Joe in the parking lot after work. Joe's colleague had given Joe a length of chain to ward the sharks off. We don't know why the kids didn't just slash his tires and run. But Ol Joe says he faced them down; he apologized for the poor choice of reference; Corn Pop accepted. And also the chain triggered. And they skedaddled.
Later, Joe caught up with -- Snap, Rap, Crackle, and Corn Pop -- and made them into recidivist debt slaves. Now they are on the chain-block gang. Joe be lookin on like da Man with No Eyes from Cool Hand Luke. Joe be king of Delaware, the state with more registered corporations than citizens. All the best and brightest debt slavers are there. Y'all. Lissy up.
Ol Joe gave the Ukrainians a length of chain to face down the Russians. When the Russians slashed the tires and didn't run. Joe was set to nuke them. But Vlad "Esther" Putin threatened some poon right back. Now, we wait to see who blinks or stutters first.
And we knew Trump was coming. We kinda have no one but ourselves to blame. We thought it was funny when he hosted Saturday Night Live all those years ago(when somehow DJ seemed hip) and suggested he might run for president. Instead of being met with silence or telling giggles of cynical mirth, he was fuckin applauded. Those happy clappers of the X generation are today's important and decisive electorate.
There was a lot of strange silence between Trump and Biden. Meaningful, yet meaningless looks. Turns out they had agreed before the debate to try out Elon Musk's prototype for Telepathy, the mind-to-mind gadget that allows two folks to say how they really feel about each other without opening their mouths. They just think it. They say, Well, that's your opinion, but they're thinking, F*ck you, moron. A lot of people have thought awful things about DJ over the years. And the one time they cleared the air openly, let's face it, he took it like a champ. Unbelievable things they said. You could almost see how the fake kompromat Steele Dossier that featured DJ hiring Russian beauty legends to golden shower on the bed the Obamas were said to have slept in while visiting Moscow a long time ago when they were trying to figure out if he was from Kenya or not. I mean, it gets ugly:
It gets even uglier. After the debate, Ol Joe's performance was so obviously fatal that Democratic "supporters" were already scrambling their brains to see who could replace Biden on the ticket, totally throwing him to the wolves of wall street, and further undermining his candidature, and making the prospect of the anti-democratic, twice impeached ex-president to return to the White House for wealth creation, Vito revenge, and arbitrary bombing of some foreign perceived enemy (Kim, maybe, the only one in the world with a bigger self-image problem than Trump). Or Putin. F*ck 'em.
And get Eddie Snowden while we're at it: We can't let a high school dropout push the Intelligence Community around like that. Hell, for all we know, the whole Thing with Russia right now is because Ed revealed the plans for global totalitarianism already underway. What, you thought Taylor Swift in the newspaper every day for years was just 'excess' -- hmph, why she's the false flag itself, flying. I mean, don't get me started (hands off!), but what the f*ck did we need to see her reaction to every play of a football game for??? Will her favorite tight end save the day?
Will the return of Hillary be this electoral season's October Surprise? Why laugh? She beat him once, she can beat him again
With Trump almost assuredly a shoo-in we best prepare for the next pandemic right now. Big Somebody or Other is already rubbing its corporate paws over the next Big Windfall. Ee-ha! I'll be trying to suss it out, checking to see what DARPA is up to. Under the Last Trump regime we got Covid-19 and Mind Control started in earnest. What could be next? Deep Fake people walking around without their minds like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, little dogs with human heads barking? F*ck that sh*t. (BTW, rest in peace Donald Sutherland, the great hippy tank leader of Kelly's Heroes.) But will anyone really give a poop? Or are we now all like Melania,comfortably numb?
Ol Obama probably called it right about both candidates. He once said of his VP: "Don't underestimte Joe's ability to fuck things up." (But why he let Joe have the Ukraine portfolio is a wonder.) And of the clown who claimed he was an illegitimate president because he was born in Kenya, Obama snarked: " He's a total and complete dipshit." All these deep fakes in office. Jordan Peele should make a horror movie about it.
"Will we survive or become some kind of fucked up dystopia?" Alexa wondered.
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