The Fire Dance Next Time
by John Kendall Hawkins
Fawwwwk. Scott Baker, the managing editor over at Op Ed News has proffered the chilling thought that in the 2024 presidential election cycle we may be faced with the prospect of choosing between a lesser of four evils, all of them old farts -- Trump, Biden, Bernie, and Hillarious. OpEdNews is "a non-partisan, non-profit, bottom-up, progressive / liberal news, opinion, op-ed media site, activism tool and blog community." Baker's usually an easy on the eyes read. But this vision is too soon after the Jan 6 de-evolution for my blood to handle.
It's the new year, Scott, and already you're depressing the readership with conjurings of the Battle of the Octogenarians. And what oldies they all are. We don't need any of them. Bernie go home, be with the grandkids, tell them wistful tales of takedowns in 2016 and 2020 -- how your own party deep-sixed your candidacy and got caught doing it and blamed it on that Aussie who's doing hard limbo time now for it in the equivalent of a Gitmo sentence that "our special friends" have provided after a phone call to You Know Who. The ones with the special harbor tea that we dunked like "Puritan" witches. Coffee drinkers since. Starbucks. Yep. Mad global Ahabs obsessed with mighty sperm whales, hegemony without a leg to stand on.
If Trump runs again, we might as well see if the Gotti remnants are willing to run a dark horse candidate against him. Independent party. Gangsta rap Vesuvius style -- gassy, ashen, molten lava running over at the mouth. Every four years the American electorate is practically being served up offers we can't refuse anyway: We can be Kochsucking Dems or barrack for the onanistic elephants, trunk between its legs. It then comes to whether you think it's better to give or receive. But remember the elephant is "giving" to itself, radical Repugnican style.
And, of course, Kamala (beautiful name, means karma or lotus, I'm told) is out of the running already because she once jailed a Jew (Jew pleaded guilty). True, she married one, too, but he doesn't go to jail until the divorce is settled. Nice guy, they say, this Second Gentleman, Doug Emhoff. When he met with the Japanese in late 2021, he sat at a well-kempt table, no loose wires. Loose arbitrary wires mean billthecat mental fires.
Aw, f*ck me, I'm in fine fettle now, Baker.
Imagine the MAGA QAnon Proud Boy element in charge:
What a scene, Baker! And note the unkempt Cat 5 cabling mid-table. Tsk-tsk signs of a haywire empire up ahead. And why not wireless? What are they afraid of? 5G? And check out sourpuss General Vanilla Milley. Pence looks pensive.
It's getting a bit acidic, methinks. People dropping tabs and sugar cubes everywhere -- or is it "me" again? Recalls the Yippie plot to effeminize the soldiers at the Pentagon during one of the many antiwar marches of 60s. The night before, at a planning party (natch), the hippies, practicing synthetic chemistry, concocted an aphrodisiac spray called Lace that they meant to mist the soldiers with and turn them gay -- right there in front of the Pentagon!!! Full flower. An orgy!!!! Check it out:
John Garabedian (New York Post reporter): The whole Lace thing was probably the most bizarre story I ever covered. It was the week before the march on the Pentagon. I was at my desk in the city room and there was a message to call Hoffman. When I called him back, he let me know that hippie chemists had invented a new wonder drug which combined the best properties of LSD with a drug called DMSO, a legitimate skin penetrating agent used to treat certain kinds of arthritis, And therefore on the day of the march to the Pentagon -- which, by the way, by magic was going to be levitated -- hippie chicks would fill squirt guns full of this love potion, which consisted of LSD and DMSO, and squirt them on the soldiers or anyone else of an evil or warlike frame of mind, thereby causing them to stop making war and immediately make love. Abbie was having a live demonstration of the product that evening at seven o'clock in his apartment. [Steal This Dream, Larry Sloman, p.96.]
And by the way, in the same book, the hippie-loving Daniel Ellsberg, confirmed the Pentagon levitation plans and rationale: "Levitating the Pentagon struck me as a great idea..." [p.98]
Lace instead of Mace! The Evils, not just the Two, lessered. Lace went on to become the Gay Bomb idea headscratched over by the Pentagon, until "Blowingback in the Wind" played in their heads and they began distancing their chairs further. That's right, that's the Untold Secret. The Right stole all the good ideas from the Left. LSD went into MKULTRA; Zero Dark Thirty is up there as street theater with Abbie throwing dollar bills down on the brokers at Wall Street to watch them snorklepork; the Internet; synthetic chemistry. And they fucked it all up. They stole our fun thunder. Remember how un-cool Charlton Heston got when he came down from his trip, man?
Bummer. You can see why Moses/Ben Hur/Soylent Green dick went on to "enforce" the Second Amendment. ( Psst. Notice how it came right after Free Speech?) No, we probably don't need 400 million guns circulating. but there's a whole lot of zeitgeist and intuitive anticipation in those numbers. Sumpins up. More sober: Countries without guns are fucked when the sh*t goes down. If you think all the pretty words will keep them in line".
That's what we need is more Abbie hippie yippie humor and antics. Making 'em make love not war. They, too, could join the LGBTQA+ line-up (this list will keep growing until the only letter left out is E for elite -- then we strike!), ex-GIs telling stories in circles at the VA about the day they came out almost against their wills (in most cases). We could export Lace and try the empire thing from a different angle, better honey than vinegar approach. Ecce Homo Sapiens and manifest destiny everywhere! Maybe then, when the ETs out there see we've got our bellicosity under wraps, they'll come and party with us, telling tall interstellar tales of the Woebegone Gizmo Galaxy.
We need more youthful acid-driven thinking, not more flaccid-driven octogenarian posturing.
BTW, the excerpt above is from page 124 of a fantastic book by Larry Sloman titled Steal This Dream. Available for loan or sale at Archive.Org -- the Internet Library! Larry has promised to let me interview him about the wacky wayback days and the whacky way forward daze, in the coming weeks.
Damn you, Scott Baker!
Now that our thought-dreams can be seen (h/t Dylan), it's time to roll out the guillotines and storm the Bastards!
Pass the bong.