(Article changed on May 14, 2013 at 15:02)
Dear Mr. Colbert,
Yu da man! To turn the America that never was off of its apocalyptic course, you know it takes more than donning a blue suit and red tie to deliver powerful, exquisite lectures a few nights a week. To save the nation, you need The Nation. And yu got da Colbert Nation. 
Is Colbert's Nation ready? by DonkeyHotey
Is Colbert's Nation ready? by DonkeyHotey
Is Colbert's Nation ready? by DonkeyHotey
Only you, or a few like you packing equivalent size, girth, and PAC funds, can give puppies to everyone and flush the earth off of its dysentery-greased, hatred-filled, Danteian spiral. And maybe even elect your sister and get her to help from within that bewildering to even Confucius contusion of dysfunctional congressional confusion" Well, ahh, after forgiven sinner Sanford takes another Ap Trail hike.
No, not Nader and his bellowing, lamenting prayer in his Biblical-sized book, "Only the Super - Rich Can Save Us !"
No, not Gates and Buffett throwing greenbacks into the kick-backing wind.
No, in the end, only you and yours can save the world, because the rest of the world can't think with the vision your steady beam of insights digitally flashes on the world. In short, you're too Camelotian far ahead of the rest of the BHP -- Bewildered Human Pack, whose bewilderment soars thanks to those prodigiously-dollared other insidious PACs . You are, as you definitively know, our hope for reviving Camelot.
In other words, you're smart and the rest of the world's plumb-bobbing dumb. Or, as the PCers would say, the rest of the world's not yet adequately informed" Like "dysfunctional Congress" isn't the same as dumb, stupid, really goofy" as any unhindered, insightful seven year old world say" Like "factually incorrect" in politics is, as any precocious eight year old senses, usually just flat-out lying.
But we have an answer to help you save the world by "smartening-up" the "friggingly dumbed-down, frothingly stupid world," as some
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