Duane "Doggie Dog" Chapman
OK, I admit on one of those nights that I had nothin' better to do, I have watched Dog:The Bounty Hunter on A@E. After all, ain't too many "hoods" in Hawaii so my racial Spidey sense wouldn't start tinglin' like it would if I was watching Cops. Plus, I thought the dude was kinda funny in a retro "Macho Man Randy Savage meets Chuck Norris" kind of way. Plus he would always give the person he arrested a cool public service announcement-type lecture before he dropped him off at the slammer. But that was before the infamous phone call that landed him a permanent spot in my "Racist Bastard Hall of Fame..."
For those one or two people who haven't heard the clip of Chapman dissin' his son's black girlfriend, let me give you the Cliff Notes version...
Seems like the Dog's son taped a phone conversation and sold it to the National Inquirer with him rantin' about the N-word being a household word in the good ole wholesome Chapman crib and he was worried that the girlfriend (known affectionately as the N-word) would one day reveal the mystic secret of the Chapman place that the man of the house was (once again) a racist bastard...
What really ticked me off was the "cry me a river" explanations that followed that sounded like a lesson in Snoop Dogg apologetics without the "supposed" cultural justification and political "sophistication."
He went on to follow the instructions on page 101 of the (again) "Racist Bastard" handbook in the chapter "What to Do When You Stick Yo' Foot in Yo' Mouth."
Simple...Talk to your PR people...Go on TV and cry like little .....um...punk...and find the first black "leader" you see to vouch for your not being (and I say again) a racist bastard..
Sadly, with Black folks, this formula works more times than not...
Once some black "priest" pardons the person from his sins, he goes his merry way and all is forgotten...
Plus the new post Michael Richards/Don Imus trick is to put the blame on Hip Hop. So, I'm just waitin' for tha Dog to say that he was just practicing for the new Hip Hop album he has coming out just in time for the holidays called (I can't resist, just one more time)
"Diary of a Racist Bastard."
Although A@E cancelled production on the show, look for it to return around the the first week in December when Don Imus returns to radio.
Will I be one of the people protesting the return of Don Imus...
Yep...
Will I be calling on folks to email A@E with the email title in all caps "FIRE THE RACIST......" (OK, I promised)
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