: Who are These Damned Bush Republicans?

Who are These Damned Bush Republicans?

by AMANDA ROE LANG

Who are these people that call themselves Republicans? Some I know who voted for Bush are now back-pedaling from the agenda they selected. Why? The realization of who that makes them now emerges post-election propaganda and rhetoric of the political campaign as a written mandate -- a checklist, more precisely. Who are these Bush Republicans? According to the new "checklist" titled "Worldwide Value", written by Frank J. Gaffney, Jr * for the National Review Online, they are people who believe the following are good ideas:

Fallujah and other of freedom's enemies in Iraq must be destroyed to the establish institutions essential to a functioning and stable democracy (even if most Iraqis will have to enjoy the stability from the grave and who knows how many more will vote from there?);

Regime change -- one way or another -- in Iran and North Korea ;

Substantially increasing our resources to re-equip our military (can you spell D-R-A-F-T) and rebuild our human-intelligence capabilities so we can fight World War IV (neo-cons' words not mine...WWIII was the Cold War) and forget the 9-11 Commission recommendations;

Protection of our homeland is "sacrosanct" -- securing our borders by deploying effective missile defenses at sea, in space, and ashore is the new American way. New song: America the Arsenal (to be sung to the tune of ... oh, you know the one);

Keeping faith with Israel , whose destruction remains a priority for the same people who want to destroy us -- who were they? Those "rascally" Iraqis? Why? For the same reasons -- i.e., our shared, "moral values" -- and especially in the face of Yasser Arafat's demise and the inevitable, post-election pressure to "solve" the Mideast problem by forcing the Israelis to abandon defensible boundaries. Hell, one country's defensible boundaries are another country's new military bases! Oh the opportunity...;

Deal with France and Germany because (like Halliburton), they have a willingness to make common cause with our enemies for profit, and they desire to employ a united Europe and its new constitution (sh*t, they want a constitution too???) to thwart the expansion and application of American power where deemed necessary by Washington state? (Hell, Washington D.C. can't even get no representation and they tried...and they...yada yada yada);

Adapting appropriate strategies for contending with (1) China's increasingly fascistic trade and military policies, (2) Vladimir Putin's accelerating authoritarianism at home and aggressiveness toward the former Soviet republics, (3) the worldwide spread of Islamofascism, and (4) the emergence of a number of aggressively anti-American regimes in Latin America (does anyone hear Haiti calling -- Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?);

And hell, that's just the rest of the world, here at home being a Bush Republican means you support all of the above (or you are not patriotic), plus you must be a "gun-owning, church-going" citizen who believes:

� American women are not intelligent enough to be given a "choice" over their reproductive rights -- and who cares -- the rich ones can fly to Europe (maybe it's not about intelligence, but what if their Constitution makes it illegal for foreigners to drop by for a killing?);

� The sanctity of marriage can only be trusted to one male and one female -- at a time -- who strangely enough, will opt over 50 percent of the time to abandon the institution at least once and some, several times;

� Every American that is going to be needed to do all the above listed fighting and killing for World War IV, regime change, and just generally settling the score, are not going to come from their American family (NIMFF -- Not In My f*cking Family);

� It's Ok to kill anybody else's children but your own.

� Forget stem cell research -- now we must insist that all those frozen embryos be protected from freezer to grave -- you fertilized them, you own them. (Note: If the freezer goes out, who do we charge with murder? How about some class action suits for the frozen -- please implant me! What kind of quality of life do I have being a "popsicle"? And what about the "gay" popsicle? Maybe these unimplanted souls are the source of our new, all volunteer Army?) ;

� Veterans are the lucky ones -- just think how much pride they can have that they were allowed to serve, and if you aspire to a political life (i.e. John Kerry, John McCain, Max Cleland), someone will bank on it;

� One man's religion should be everyone's -- and if it's not, keep it to yourself. Look at the House and the Senate. If you do not look like Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson, or Lydsey Graham, you should just shut the f*ck up.

� Voting is a right to be enjoyed by every American as long as you're voting for a Republican;

� The U.S. government will never be broke....don't we just print more money?;

� Freedom is the cornerstone of America 's moral values unless the freedom you prefer is derived from the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights;

� A good expediture of health care dollars would be to "de-gayitize" homosexuals;

� Hate crimes aren't really crimes...they are "The Passion of the Christ."

Amanda Roe Lang, PhD innovator@comcast.net Augusta GA

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