Gather round now boys and girls. The great nation has been blessed with a new political genius and commentator. Apparently he has the backing of conservative radio host and soon to be Fox News commentator, Glenn Beck.
Enter “Stage Far Right” the one, the only, the inimitable, Joe The (Wannabe) Plumber, legally known as Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. In some circles he is also known as “The Clown From Ohio” which no doubt is rather insulting to all of the legitimate clowns working in Ohio.
Joe The (Wannabe) Plumber has yet to release intelligence test scores or even his educational resume. In the absence of that type of evidence, the public is compelled to simply listen to this genius, and look at his record. Apparently he is unable to pass the Ohio plumber’s test since he is not a licensed plumber, which can be interpreted to mean that he isn’t quite smart enough to get those credentials. Similarly, he apparently wasn’t smart enough to read notices from the Ohio Department of Taxation which notified him that it had filed a lien against his property for unpaid state income taxes.
Now, Joe The (Almost & Wannabe) Plumber is a dreamer. He went and asked Obama on the campaign trail about how taxes would affect his plans to buy a plumbing business. It was a real psuedo intellectual question from a man who, it was later disclosed, doesn’t have, as my daddy used to say, “a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.” In other words, Joe The (Almost & Wannabe Executive) Plumber is close to flat broke. Even in the days of easy credit -- to anyone who was breathing, Joe probably couldn’t have qualified for a loan to buy a business.
Anyway, this psuedo intellectual apparently had a long discussion with candidate John McCain on the Straight Talk Express campaign bus about the economy and the proposed bail out. Joe told Beck: “When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout because most Americans did not want that to happen.”
“I asked him some pretty direct questions,” Joe continued. “Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive -- they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him.”
Those are some pretty strong words from a man who was made famous by McCain. At least McCain admitted that economics was not his strong suit. Apparently Joe The Plumber thinks that he has a great deal of knowledge about economics.
This information should make all Americans comfortable. We have Joe The (No License) Plumber in there with the policy makers looking out for us. Yes sir! Joe was there asking pointed, and no doubt great intellectual, questions about the economy and what to do about it, and he determined that McCain didn’t know what he was talking about. Said he was “appalled.” Imagine that! A man who doesn’t pay his income taxes and can’t get licensed as a plumber being “appalled” -- and by politicians none-the-less. Shocking!
Now, Genius Joe The (Been In The Septic Tank Too Long) Plumber knows how to pick a winning candidate. Oh yes. He can’t find much, if anything good to say about John McCain, but Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin is, according to Genius Joe, “absolutely the real deal.” Yup. Joe and Sarah are no doubt equals when it comes to geography, economics and ethics.
We all know that Sarah is planning a run in 20012 for the White House. That isn’t any secret. But, we have to wonder if she has already picked her running mate, or if Joe is trying to get on the ticket with her. He has launched his own web site -- SecureOurDream.com -- and written a book, Joe The Plumber. In his book, he reportedly talks about his "eye-opening experience with Governor Sarah Palin," and the tough questions he asked John McCain while on his Straight Talk Express.
Now, boys and girls, The Old Codger isn’t one to do much speculation about things that he doesn’t know much about. But after reading about how the McCain campaign staff were greeted by Sarah wearing just a towel one day, just what did Joe see? Woo Hoo. Must have been something spectacular. But, then again, it doesn’t take a whole lot to amuse little minds.
It looks like Joe could be posturing for a career in politics. One could make a comparisson betwen plumbers and politicians (remember Watergate?) but by gosh, since Watergate, legitimate and licensed plumbers have done a lot to improve their image.
Having seen some of the “Palin Performances” during the campaign, it is possible to visualize her and Joe The What Is He? actually teaming up and running for President in 2012. That visualization carries shades of the movie Dumb and Dumber for some reason. One is watching Russia from her backyard and the other one is an expert on the economy. These are things that you just can’t make up.
The one thing that drains all the humor from people like Joe and Sarah is that some people believe in them and would vote for them. One would think that after eight years of George Bush people would insist that their heros have a modicum of intelligence and common sense.
