Are pulling us down,
Wrecking America's dream.
Their charge-it schemes
Come with hooks
Too deep to fathom.
They dip both ends
Of the stick, skimming
The sales with nets
The fish cannot slip; then
At the swipe of a card
They reel out their dough,
Riding your line
On the rate you agreed to,
The total you owe.
Horrific stories abound.
You pay your bills online
On time. Build excellent
Credit. Then one night,
Your lap top freezes. By
A tock of the clock,
You're late. Your interest rate
Jumps double digits,
Off the chart. Then you get
The call. Sopranos on your cell.
Yet credit card folk
Appear angelic, necks to
Pay-check advancers
Who prey on the broke.
The payday people put
Fifteen bucks on a hundred,
Their max two-weeks flat,
And grinningly tell you,
"391.07 per cent per annum."
The credit card giants
And check advance dealers
Have something in common:
The same filthy hands.
Price fixers violate law.
But their scams for scramming
money are apparently
legal, their shades, miniscule.
option: The Uncle Sam Shazam!
The statute will read,
Regardless of your credit,
An income guarantees
Your Shazam line comes
With Shazam agreement:
Uncle Sam Protection
The Interest fair, plainly
Written clear, a teensy rate
With excellent credit,
Higher for chronic
Late payers, your monies
Compounded quarterly.
The shops accepting Shazam
can expect livable fees
For all their transactions.
You make the call,
The citizen who flashes
Glam of Shazam,
Guaranteed extension.
Uncle Sam's Shazam
Is a boon for Congress, too.
Suggesting, "Public
Option," burns their pocket
Through; halls of the Congress
Crowed by lobbyists,
Ducats By the bucket full.
On Capitol Hill, lobbyists
And prostitutes go far, share
The same car. All aboard
Pay the fare, get their due.
Senator Max Baucus snatched
Three million pesos
From the health care folks.
Their single payer plan
Insures every body single,
Pesos them,
Unless you get sick.
Then you don't have a prayer.
Lobbyists for entrenched
Purveyors will exercise
Their protection racket,
Rising to the call,
Stuffing campaign pockets
Up and down the hall,
Thousands for their elections,
Quid from the pros for
Members of Congress all
To snub the Shazam,
Refuse to hold hearings,
Issue tabled, snubbing
Nobel Prize winners
On whether or not
To consider saving us
One trillion bucks a quarter.
Oh! That Shazam Card
interest payment?
That's in the statute.
Interest goes to
Pay vigorish due on
Our national debt!
I explained this idea
To my banker:
The public option for
Private creditor debt.
The manager exclaimed,
"We'll be back in the black."
Unless we draw down
Our world wide debt
We will soon be
Secondary rated, our
Vigorous dollar slashed!
That's the debtor
Etch on the window;
Why worldly executives
Self inflict with
Repugnant piles of money,
G'zillion dollar bonuses
That dwarf their pay.
They sense devaluation
Is coming our way,
Trillions of deboned empty
Dollars ushering steep
DÃ ©nouement, Their inflation
plan, stash while you can.
How long after 2012
before one stick of
Wrigleys will
chew up a dollar?
When I was a kid
Five sticks cost a nickel.
One dollar covered
An emergency trip to
Doctor Gruenfeld's,
A block away.
A chunk of coal was
Stuck in my eye.
Those days are gone.
My eye is OK.
When our economy
Slumps in a funk,
Instead of braying
For the Federal Reserve
To adjust money cost,
We can bump the Shazams
Of all our working folk
500 bucks, interest and
Payments not for six months.
When the Bottom is up,
Our economy pumps;
Their Fed economy, anomaly.
What about dead beat
Non-payers? Oh?
What about that
income tax refund?
Besides the vig from
our national debt,
Shazams' net,
Locked and Boxed to
Square medicare, saving
Trillions, we have home
Land security snookered,
Re-spoken for by
Great Sam Uncle Shazam.
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